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10 years quit and started again

Hi, I quit smoking 11 years ago after 13 years of smoking. My husband purchased a packet last year for fun at a party, we then quickly became hooked. Now 11 months smoking and I plan on quitting again in 2 days. I have had 4 quit attempts since starting back, some for 4/5 days. Feeling like a silly idiot for starting again and needing to go through the process again. My mother was also diagnosed with cancer 4 months ago and I still haven’t quit! Please help support me quit for good this time, it’s so powerful!

Its good that i dont need to call you a "silly idiot" for starting smoking again. Because you know.
We have a motto around here. Its NOPE.
Regrettably, you,me & countless others have been through your learning curve
NotOnePuffEver and promise you'll never need to go through this withdrawal process again.

Thanks for your comments, I always knew, one single smoke and I would be back. I have learnt a lot, I went through 10 years of ups and downs in life without a smoke and it only took a few months to break the cycle. The next few weeks will be hard but it’s the right thing, hoping to reach out to this forum for inspiration. One more day and they are gone forever.

Welcome to the forum Istaysee,
You aren’t the first nor the last. I had two successful quits in the past, the first one lasted just over 2 years and the second one lasted a little over one year. And each time I had to prove to myself that I had this addiction beat by having just one puff. How stupid is that? And each time I was hooked again. This is my 3rd and final quit. NOPE is the only way.
Also, thinking that smoking is something i don’t want anymore helps tremendously. In the past I thought of myself as a smoker who chose not to smoke which led to the one puff. In summary, don’t beat yourself over the head too much. One time or another falling off the wagon happened to most of us. Stay strong and good luck.
Dear Istaysee - i know now that i can never have another cigarette - i've not had a smoke for eleven years and ten months - so many people fall off the wagon around 10 to 12 years clean - what can it be ?!

Welcome Istaysee, it is difficult to acknowledge that you have succumbed once again, this has happened to me and the only answer I gave myself was I thought I was so clever that I could take it or leave it alone, until I wanted to leave it alone, it produced a great feeling of shame and guilt.
I did want to quit again, so started reading and staying close to this forum, eventually I realized there was something deeper that I needed to fix, this led me to gain enough knowledge and dare I say it, pleasure in trying this time around, why! watching "How to GROW to be a Happy Non Smoker" presented by NASIA DAVOS from TEDxUniversityofPiraeus on u tube, you might find something there to give you a clue and dig deeper, mine was self belief, and a need for rewards and pleasure, now I am a happy Non smoker
who Never wants to feel that way again. NOPE (not one puff ever)

I can't imagine starting the addiction over again once being free. I love being a non-smoker. Maybe that is the key? I also believe that staying close to a forum like this keeps us thankful that we are free and grateful for it. It offers us a chance to help others as we were helped along the way. You can quit again but adopt the mindset and choose to be a non-smoker .

This is a timely reminder for me! I "stopped" smoking on 8 Feb (for some reason I am more comfortable with that word, because it is more final to me than the word "quit" - I know it's just semantics, but it seems to be working for me for now).
I do have self-defeating thoughts though, because cigarettes had become the punctuation mark to all of my daily activities. As soon as I completed a task, any task, I'd head out to the balcony for a smoke, and I still start to do that now, 84 days in. I know it isn't the nicotine, because I am using lozenges and I don't have a chemical craving. It's just a 35 years strong habitual behaviour for me.
Social isolation is also a mixed blessing ATM. It's good that I can't be around my mother, because she's a smoker. But it's bad that I can't change my daily routine as much as I'd like (with travel or a change of scenery)!