Stories & experiences

Gemma23
41
Stories
13/05/2020
Joined

Need some motivation

Posted in Reasons to quit 20 Sep 2020
16 Comments

Hi everyone

I'm not sure what's going on with me but I feel like I'm losing the motivation.😪😪😔

I need some motivation from all you lovely people can you please help throw some things at me to keep me on straight and narrow again.

I sliped up again today with 1 smoke and this isn't like me.

I don't think it's fair after 3 months of going to a friend's house and been smoke free that I find that's my trigger been at her house. And I now have to avoid going there because she smokes and I can't handle the cravings I fight so hard with myself when I'm there that I have to in the end go home orr I will give in.

I was fine before this week then all of a sudden cravings kicked in really really hard.

I no I'm stronger than this smoking business.

It's not been a good week as I sliped up now twice and I'm not liking it now.

I probably should just avoid my friends house for a bit longer bit its not fair I have to avoid her just because I can't fight the craving when I could before.

I don't no what's changed with me.

I really do not want to go back to square 1

I'm almost at the 100 days now.

And I will.keep counting the days.

If my partner new I had smoke he would be very very disappointed and I don't want to disappoint him orr me.

I didn't give up.for him

I give up.for me and my health.

Just some help with words would be appreciated to get me back on track

Thanks

Report abuse

16 Comments

Showing oldest to newest. Swap comments order
  • Red-67 September 21, 2020 | 0:04
    Gemma; Even though you had long beaten the addiction, when you smoked that first one, you gave your brain a fresh taste. In all too many cases, that will lead to failure. You must regain control. This is why I preach the difference between wanting to quit, and NOT WANTING to smoke. Apparently, like it or not, in your mind, you still wanted it, right ? Let yourself really see all the negatives, the reality, of being a SLAVE to smoking, and find a way to kill the want. Then, instead of craving, when you see someone smoking, you just feel pity, that they are still slaves :)
    All that being said, I still have to ask, did you have cigarettes with you, or did your,, friend ,, knowing you were quitting, smoke in front of you, and offer you one ? ? It really shouldn't matter, if you eliminate the WANT, but still a little inconsiderate..
  • Happiness September 21, 2020 | 0:04
    Hi Gemma. I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a trying time. I think perhaps you were scared into quitting and now that you are feeling safer, your motivation has waned. I had quit a year and then had a stroke. I am glad that I was in better health after quitting smoking to enable rehabilitation.
    You are right, it is not fair that you should give up seeing your friend. What if she gives up smoking while you are there? If she values your friendship, especially these days, she would want to support you.
    Have you read Allan Carr that I have posted a link to in my past stories? Free and so helpful. Understanding you and nicotine gives you more reason why to shun smoking. Find the right reasons for quitting smoking and you will not be plagued. Simply choose freedom. And always remember that Nicotine is a DRUG. You were an ADDICT. You broke free!!!!

    You can find it within you to fight this. What would you tell your friend if roles were reversed?
  • matik_one September 21, 2020 | 0:18
    Sorry for hear that, you did long hard way to be where you are and you can be proud of yourself.. try to find possitive at everything, even in slip up.. don't worry, forgive yourself and find things why you want to be non smoker, not why you have to or should.. I believe that you find the strength which you had during almost 100 days.. see you there.. ;)
  • Gemma23 September 21, 2020 | 5:03
    R3d_67 tthis doesn't sound good
    But her reply was well this is my hoise and I make the choice to go there and why should she have to stop smokong because i am trying to quit and fair enough it is her house and i do make the choice to go there. She doesn't offer yes she does smoke in front if be.
    I couldn't resist the temptation.
    But I think I am going to have to stay clear of her house otherwise I am going to end back up at square 1 and I can't and won't put myself there I just can't.
    And happiness I would say if it was turned the other way I'm sure I wouldn't she get for months she probaly wouldn't come near me as she would be tempted but I wouldn't smoke around her.
    And feeling safer I think that is another reason I'm starting to.forget the 1st feelings of been sick with my health and the scares I got and make that's why I lose motivation.
    I think my only option is stay clear of my friend just for few more weeks mabe months it's a bit to soon after quitting to always be tempted.
    I have read allen carr might need to do that again.
    I no I give the brain a fresh taste for amokong again. Which I hate that I have done that but I am keeping counting to my 100 days.
    Tomorrow is Monday start of a fresh week.
  • Red-67 September 21, 2020 | 5:53
    Sure, I agree. Her house, and your choice. It was just a thought.
    The real key, is to find a way to end the want for one. When the want is gone, there is no more struggle to stay quit, even around smokers. You will just know, you have successfully QUIT. You CAN do this :)
  • Gemma23 September 21, 2020 | 9:01
    Red_67 I have totally fine when I'm not with her
    The need for 1 just isn't there but the minute I walk into her house
    It's like i need a smoke.
    That's the only trigger I get now is with her.
    It doesn't brother me any other.time only with her.
    They do say your circle of friends may change once.you became a non smoker.
    My friend is in her 60s and she did try to quit with me but she will never stop smoking she enjoys it she reckons. But she hasn't got a reason to quit and we shouldn't need a reason.
    So is the age of my mum and I don't expect her to quit smoking.
    She's a great friend to me and been there through all my health sickness and I sh o uls be able to go and have a tea woth her and not let them horrible smokes bother me.
  • jessfreeof, Northern NSW September 21, 2020 | 10:02
    Hi Gemma all I can say is do your absolute best to keep going and no matter what do not have another cigarette. I had one slip than another than another than another and kept slipping till this morning I was at the shop buying a packet of cigarettes. These are mongrel things I will have to hit the reset button you do not have to go down to where I am you can still continue being a non smoker who had two slips. Muster up all of your strength and will power Gemma and do not have another. All the best 👍
  • Gemma23 September 21, 2020 | 10:09
    Awww jessfreeof you where doing so well
    But dosent mean you have to smoke them. It's a very hard addiction to beat indeed. No I do intend to carry on as I did only have 2 smokes after 3 months
    A little slip up but I definetly will not go back to day 1 again.
    I've come to far.
    Let's beat it together you can also do it.
    Thanks for all support. But today is a new day start of a fresh week
    I no my trigger and I will just have to avoid that untill I'm strong enough to fight craving
  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW September 21, 2020 | 21:45
    I think your triggers will pale into insignificance, if you stay strong long enough. Some say six month;s? Some can swear freedom from Day 1?
    If you can come to some kind of acceptance, that you know you've smoked your last, you have most of the battle won.
    Stay strong gemma. Its a mind game, my friend.
  • Gemma23 September 21, 2020 | 22:18
    Puffnomore thank you. I have not smoked today I'm just going to carry in like it never happened I accept what I did and now move on 100 days tomorrow qith only 2 smokes been smoked.
    I thought today no I am going to see my friend and I did and didn't smoke I fought it and to be honest the craving wasn't there. And she did not smoke in front of me either.
    I think she new I did struggle this last few days.
    I started walking again today
    Not letting myself fall back into the trap
  • Happiness September 22, 2020 | 3:43
    I am happy for your Gemma. While it is your friends house, she did take some consideration of you. I am not sure she is a friend if she hadn't. Health problems are not to be waited for to have a reason to quit......but they have to figure that out for themselves. You know the reasons.......and how the outcome could have been different.

    I smoked with my hubby smoking next to me. I insisted. Then he quit , and we still went out on breaks with smokers. We quit smoking, not our friends. I am glad she is one though.
    Keep up the positive thinking and you will prevail Gemma.
  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW September 22, 2020 | 18:14
    Hi Gemma, I extend my congratulations for your achievement of 100 days smoke-free. Cheering for your next 100. You will find it so liberating and grateful that you kicked the stupid habit if you practise NOPE.
    It works.
  • Gemma23 September 22, 2020 | 20:02
    Yea I had my slip ups 1 days ago and have had none since it was just a stupid slip up and I think we all go through this I haven't bought a packet of cigs so I guess that's a good thing I haven't fallen right back to square 1. I saw.my friend today and her smoking didn't bother me I new though she was trying not to smoke around me. And then I have had that feeling of well she couldn't wait till.i left.
    The craving got the better.of her which is sad. She will always be a smoker. And I'm glad I pulled myself out of that hole I was in for then few days last week and stayed fresh week still counting days
    Puffnomore thank you for the support 101 days today woth 2 minor slip ups. Happiness yea I umh did have a little struggle and my partner is so against smokong as he 9nce was a smoker now can't stand them so he is great support he's straight down the line and is my back bone with this journey. I so not mention of my slip up to.him..
    How long has your hubby been a non smoker?
    It's great when 2 people.donit together as a couple to quit smoking.
    I'm really.looking forward to Xmas time to celebrate I'm no longer a smoker.
  • Gemma23 September 22, 2020 | 20:04
    I haven't really thought about cigs since Sunday when I sliped up so I think I needed that to really prove well I'm missing nothing atal and it smell bad and didn't taste the best.
  • New chapter September 23, 2020 | 4:25
    Gemma well done on not giving in since the slip up at your Mates house,and even more well done for going back round and not smoking when she lit one up,deep down inside she probably feels like she wishes she could give up too but is too afraid to make the change,be the strong one,show her that this dirty addiction can be beaten,show yourself that it can be beaten too,well done for hanging in there,we’re all proud of you,Remember ....NOPE...you know what it means😀x
  • Gemma23 September 23, 2020 | 19:07
    New chapter thanks so much.
    Yes I thought to myself no I am not going to stop seeing my friend i can do this and ideas very happy that i did not give in and I'm still going really strong now since that little slip up last week. I'm not sure what happened there but I didn't not fall back completely into the trap.
    I did not buy a packet of smokes.
    I sat there and let her smoke and thought you can't give them up because you like to smoke them
    She's definetly badly addicted and always will be. She dis try to stop months ago with me but lasted like 6 days and caved
    Hasn't done it again since.

You need to register or log in to leave a comment.