Stories & experiences

Gemma23
32
Stories
13/05/2020
Joined

2 months in

Posted in Quit experiences 06 Aug 2020
11 Comments

Hi everyone

I'm almost at the 2 month mark.

And still I struggle with cravings I feel like I'm really missing something and I am not content atal with everyday life at the minute.

I am having health issues right now aswell and very on edge every time I have to see doc. I just find it hard to be settled without the thinking of o a ciggerate would be nice.now orr o a ciggerate would help me get through this stressful time.

I do no that after having a ciggerate that all my problems will still be on the other side so it wouldn't.do anything.

Mind is playing tricks on me now.

The struggle is real.

I really am trying to get in that mind set o no.o don't want it and what it is and does do to our health.

I won t smoke 1 but feeling for 1 are still very much alive.

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11 Comments

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  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW August 06, 2020 | 21:10
    I hear you Gemma. As do many others who have remained smoke free for some years! YES! even those who have not smoked for 10 years can have some rear vision thinking. And that is what it is. It's a look back and while it can be helpful, having insight to suffering a stupid, horrid smelling and incompatible expense to the budget, I think some optimistic thinking is needed. I'm getting to half a year tomorrow and i'm so motivated to stay SMOKE-LESS forevermore, but, one day at a time will do me just fine.
    At 6 month's I kinda lose track of milestones, but they are helpful to look at briefly , but whatever you do DONT LOOK BACK IN ANGER. LOOk ahead to your next achievement.
    For one example: I bank $185.50 every friday! That's alot of doe at my 26th week!
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$4,823.00
    Keep the faith in your achievement. I know i have.
  • Gemma23 August 06, 2020 | 21:15
    Puffnomore yes I will not smoke again as I don't want to but dear me it is still much alive in my head
    Of feeling well what do i do now sort of thing?
    On my days off work it is a struggle just to be at home alone as I am still recovering from surgery it's so hard.to be home and not think of well i used to smoke at these times.
    I will keep looking forward but stress gets to me and yes the thought of a ciggerate would be lovely but then I think nope can't so that after 2 mo this smoke free definetly cannot go back to day 1
    Yes I have almost saved $900 now which is great.
    Well done on half a year
    Keep up the hard work
    Doing great
  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW August 06, 2020 | 21:31
    Not only I, but many ex-smokers can relate and understand the feeling.
    Be strong. Look ahead to next month. You have got this! Believe it, and in your own strength.
    Most of us older type have some health issues on the horizon. I have a number, of which cancer of my tongue is a major concern. But, I have said it before and I continue to say it over and over again.
    I dont smoke...NOPE'

    Kind regards
    PuffNoMore
  • matik_one August 06, 2020 | 21:59
    Hi Gemma23, sorry to hear you suffer but I'm glad that you say that, we don't have just good days.. Last days I suffer as well and I'm angry at myself - why?? I could suffer first weeks after quitting not after first months.. but it seems that we can.. what helps me is reading motivation quotes about fitness or life.. to bring me possitive thoughts, which is what we need in this stage, when motivation is not so strong as it was in begining, we need to stay disciplined.. good luck and power to you.. and stay possitive..
  • Gemma23 August 06, 2020 | 22:07
    Tha k's matik_one yes thanks
    Staying positive I won't give it but yes struggle is real this last few days
    I just feel like I'm not sure what to do with myself on days off work but I will get through it day by day
    I read here alot to keep motivation going. And keep busy.
    Thanks again
  • Happiness August 06, 2020 | 22:55
    Hi Gemma. I am distraught to hear that your usual positivity is slipping. Your mind has still to accept the new way of thinking about smoking. Isn't there anything else you can desire to taste than a yucky cigarette? Isn't there something more worthwhile doing than poisoning yourself. Are you going to break that contract to yourself and life? Stop using willpower as your main source of strength. You have made great strides in accomplishing what you once thought you couldn't. Take pride and self satisfaction from that. Give thanks that you found the strength to overcome and you will continue to as you take back control of your future.
    I hope that if you read my free link to Allan Carr, you will finally be able to turn that switch and see how smoking never did anything for you, but took so much. Changing our minds and how we think about smoking is key. Stop debating with the devil and embrace your new found freedom. Choose to live life to the fullest. Click on Happiness and enjoy the book for free! Mindset .
  • Safe2017 August 07, 2020 | 4:16
    Hi Gemma23,
    Stay strong and patient and you'll overcome all your temporary difficulties. From personal experience that is based on my previous failed attempts of quitting I've learned that one cigarette won't solve any problem(s). Instead it will compound and multiply.
    One time the voices in my head got the better of me and convinced me that one puff won't hurt my quit. Boy was I wrong! I inhaled that first puff and just couldn't believe how bitter and awful it tasted. Immediately my lungs rebelled. I started coughing and became lightheaded. Right away I knew that by coughing my lungs were telling my that I was an idiot to inhale in the first place. The odor that came out together with the smoke was really, really filthy and gross. It's hard to put it into words how bad it was but trust me that first exhale felt really bad. However, my brain was pre-programmed to be addicted and I inhaled a second puff. Needless to say, I finished the cigarette and had another one while telling myself that it's okay because I am not a smoker anymore. Soon enough I was back to being a full fledged smoker and it took me another 10 years or so to muster enough courage to quit again. I greatly regretted big time that one first puff.

    There is a good reason why we quit and even if you start again you'll regret it. Among many feelings, such as, feeling guilty, weak and out of control, regret for starting was prevalent. I realize that we are all different but why take a chance? A very, very few of us can be social smokers and even then it's a lie. For example, a couple of people I know told me that they only smoke when they drink but they drink all the time. LOL.
    Cheers and good vibes to you.
  • Gemma23 August 07, 2020 | 7:54
    Thanks all for the comments today is a new day
    Yesterday wasn't so good
    As I am back to work this morning I'm sure I will be fine and move on from yesterday.
    Allen carrs book I will be reading again as I have done his book a few times now I will we read it just to refresh the mind.
    It's hard yes to feel normal without a ciggerate I no that sounds awful silly but when we smoke it was something I done every day
    So just trying to find that balance again of what normal is without smoking.
    I will get there and I guess then these feelings will pass.
  • softly40, Mid North Coast August 07, 2020 | 8:58
    Hi Gemma, only one thing I have noticed in the replies is that you are still treating the cigarette as your friend, it is not your friend and your attachment to it needs to be broken forever, there are various ways to do this, by putting the blame where it deserves to be as in the manufacturers and/or the government for taking your taxes, this might cut the cord so to speak. NOPE (not one puff ever) to be taken every day.
  • Nuts August 07, 2020 | 12:22
    Hi Gemma. Well done on 2 months. Dont give in now. You dont want to go back to day 1 do you ? Keep thinking positive. For years i told myself that i could'nt do it, but once i changed my thinking to positive, it became so much easier. 579 days and $13,432 saved later here i am. A happy non smoker. Hang in there sweetheart. Every ex smoker has a thought of a cigarette now and then. Laugh about it and move on 🤗💞 well done on 6 months Puff No More 👍🏁💖
  • Gemma23 August 07, 2020 | 20:54
    Thanks everyone
    Today was much better
    And yes mabe I so still treat it as a friend. But I am doing my best to break that friendship
    I will not and would hate to go back to day 1. I don't think I will as I had a cancer in my thyroid and the thought of passing smoke through that area again is totally not worth the risk of making it come back again.
    I am proud of 2 months
    Never thought I would hear myself say that.
    I think I'm at the stage of Okie something is happening and I am trying to get a routine back again aswell as work on my health
    Been stressed lately and I never give in to a smoke.
    Still have positivity there but it is hard some days
    But I will get better at this new way of life. 🙂😁😁🙏

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