Stories & experiences

HolyCow
4
Stories
4/06/2019
Joined

No Booze No Smokes

Posted in Staying quit 04 Jun 2019
28 Comments

I stop smoking every year for as long as i can remember, the problem is every time i have a drink, which is not that often, they go hand in hand. There usually is a trigger of some kind and the fact that my wife is a heavy smoker makes it a little harder....

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28 Comments

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  • Nuts June 04, 2019 | 19:41
    Smokes and alcohol are best mates. Might have to give up drinking for a while. Hopefully your wife will join you in quitting or at least support you while you quit. You can do it. Be strong. It will be worth it.
  • Happiness June 05, 2019 | 1:51
    If you do this year after year with the same outcome you know yourself that you have to change something. Don't have a drink while cigarettes are available...a drink... not inebriated. Teach your mind that it is possible.

    Your wife's smoking has nothing to do with your decision. Hopefully she is courteous and supportive in your desire to become a non-smoker, and who knows, once you succeed she may lose the fear and do it as well.

    We are giving up smoking, not life. You should be able to continue to do the things you love to do. (As should your wife).

    You can make this the last time and not just an attempt with excuses for your past failings. You know what to do. do it!

    Anyone can quit smoking if they truly want to. Knowledge is power. Positive attitude leads to positive results.
  • HolyCow June 05, 2019 | 6:27
    Thank you guys for your comments, i am starting to understand that i shouldn't make my wives smoking my own business and that the subordinate truth is that i am probably using her smoking as an excuse for me to pick up!
    I have used this site in the past and that's why i love it so much, the comments and interaction from other members makes the journey, not only simpler, but somewhat enjoyable, so i am truly great full for your comments.
    I am sure with this realisation that it will make a very big difference, but unfortunately, there's a BUT!
    My wife is a very heavy smoker that is costing around $300 per week and it doesn't seem to bother her, even though i remind her that we simply cant afford it. She starts work very early and the first thing she does is buy a packet, if there's not enough cash for that, i inevitably get the phone call, and of course i'm reminded about the addiction i'm letting go off, ouch :(
    I am going to succeed this time though because i have changed some of my goals around and at the top of my list, i have placed, to become a Non Smoker, not for a year or 2 but for life.
    Nothing is now more important to me than to be freed from my addictions and to no longer be a slave to cigarettes.
    Thank you again
    God Bless
    The Holy Cow
  • softly40, Mid North Coast June 05, 2019 | 8:58
    Its not easy in your situation Holy Cow, I have learned that when you are not in control of your self then this can and does lower your resistance for your plan in your life, I had to stop going to the club for a while, because some of my family smoke which made it more difficult, I wasn't much of a drinker, but for me only one drink lowered my resistance and of course was offered a smoke which I accepted, it was a kind of celebration and this was my trigger, we all have them. I still have difficulty with the words and intent "Forever" because I know that nothing is forever, I now use the words long term instead. Try not to berate your wife for the money factor, as we know doing this does not help you or her in the long run, try to think of something else which she could be missing out on that she loves and mention this to her instead. Long term is now my own mantra
  • Robn June 05, 2019 | 16:15
    Hi Holycow, if your wife’s smoking is putting a huge strain on the finances then I think she should acknowlege that this is the case. Your wife is n adult not a child, I think she needs to be aware that no one can sustain a $300 a week habit without making cuts in other areas. You need to discuss this and find out where you can cut back on the household budget or your wife needs to cut her smoking down and spend less on it. The $300 per week is only going to grow as the cost goes up on cigarettes. Do you spend that much on yourself each week ? Sorry if I sound harsh but I think it is quite a selfish attitude to have. Hope your chat sorts out this issue for you
  • Nuts June 05, 2019 | 22:41
    Put $300 in cash in front of your wife and tell her to set fire to it. Times that by 52 weeks. Thats a lot of cash to burn in one year. And thats not counting what you spend on smokes.
  • HolyCow June 05, 2019 | 22:49
    I never thought of that, it’s very good idea that I will definitely try!
    Thanks
  • Nuts June 05, 2019 | 22:52
    It $15,600 per year. Ouch
  • Happiness June 06, 2019 | 0:43
    i'll bet she can't set fire to one $20. Offer her something else with some money she will save by simply cutting down. Is she works why isn't she paying for her own. You spend YOUR savings and she will be so jealous.

    She would cut down tremendously by simply putting the package when she has to get up and go and get one. Or smoking outside. Being mindful of that you are actually having one instead of reaching out of mere habit.

    Once she realizes how her life is dictated by it, how she doesn/t really enjoy them that much. How it is cravings that keep her going back to them. Cravings that they cause and will continue to until she refuses to feed them.

    Once she realizes that you have quit, how much money you have to spend on other things, how much better you are feeling, and how much better you are looking. Of course , she won't notice how much better you are smelling, but you can remind her that you can smell her. Be nice, though. How good dinner smells, and tastes these days. How great it is to breath fresh air, I mean really BREATHE......ahhhhhh. The many benefits of quitting smoking
  • HolyCow June 06, 2019 | 7:05
    Great advise, accepted with thanks, I know I have to change my ways toward her decision to continue smoking but I’ve also been thinking of the burning cash in front of her concept, I know that will affect her so I thought I could use it as a teaching mechanism with my children present since they are coming to the age now that most of their friends smoke!
    I’ll just tune it down a little and use $200 in stead, I think it’s a brilliant idea though so thanks again to all my new friends ... I’m following all you guys and I’ll keep you u to date with the progress😊
    Best
    The holycow
  • Happiness June 06, 2019 | 9:34
    I once asked a member having difficulty quitting to make an envelope and put $20 in every day that he smoked and if he didn't quit, mail it to me. He never did mail it to me, I wonder if he paid off his credit cards. Oh well, I tried to help :)
  • HolyCow June 06, 2019 | 10:29
    It seems you always do, is it okay to ask if a member is female or male?
    It would just help me with the dynamics of communication 😊
  • Happiness June 06, 2019 | 13:49
    Some members had me guessing their gender for a while. Safe finally referred to his wife. .... it makes it more interesting and makes you read every word trying to figure it out. Its a good distraction from cravings!
  • HolyCow June 06, 2019 | 13:59
    Yes, I don’t want to guess, I’d prefer to know!
    I’m a married man, not happily but we’re getting couples counselling which is helping 😊
    You still didn’t tell me your gender?
  • Nuts June 06, 2019 | 14:25
    I am a married old lady with 3 daughters , 10 grandkids and 1 great grandbaby on the way.
  • HolyCow June 06, 2019 | 14:54
    Thank you, that makes it easier, with all your life experience I’m sure you can teach me a few things😊
    You certainly have a great deal of support
    God Bless
  • Happiness June 06, 2019 | 15:11
    Most of us here have silhouettes which indicate our gender. On a more personal level , I am also a mother of 2 girls, grandmother of 6 and also a very young great grandmother of 1. I was an ostrich for 46 years but quit 6 months ago, cold turkey. I'm not sure if either one flies, but at least I am done burying my head in the sand.
  • HolyCow June 06, 2019 | 15:54
    Of course, I just got it 🤪
  • Nuts June 06, 2019 | 20:56
    I quit using patches 5 months ago after smoking for 30 years. Have saved $3,502 in those 5 months. I was determined to quit, so i found it easy. Everyone on this site is fantastic and very supportive cigarettes are just little tubes of nastiness that have you in their grip. Kick them to the curb. You can do it. 👍🤗
  • HolyCow June 06, 2019 | 23:19
    Thanks nuts, I know I can do it, I also hate it so much that I don’t even get cravings!
    I’ve just got to quit for good 😊
  • Safe2017 June 09, 2019 | 14:12
    HolyCow, you can quit too because everyone involved in this conversation did it. It isn’t easy but very doable. Good luck.
  • HolyCow June 09, 2019 | 15:30
    Thanks for your encouragement, I stop every year, my longest stretch 1800 months but I also stopped drinking which made it much easier.
    My goal is to be free from my addiction for life now.
    I had a big scare last night and ended up in ER where they found 10 pulmonary embolisms at the top of my lungs, they just cleared me and I’m in the clear. I can assure you that’s going to make the journey a lot simpler, I’ve still got kids to raise and get ready for this world.
    Thanks
    Again
  • Broncor, Mid North Coast June 09, 2019 | 17:05
    Hi holy cow, and welcome, you are in good hands here with very wise advice given out. You said you had the scare last night.? So glad you are in the clear, but heed the warnings, breath deep and don’t look back, your health will improve quickly as you should already be aware of. Make this your last and final quit. Best of luck
  • Nuts June 09, 2019 | 18:10
    Stay strong mate. Believe you can and you will
  • HolyCow June 09, 2019 | 20:59
    Thank you, yesterday’s scare has just given me strength.
    I’m a non smoker for life😉
    Thanks again
  • HolyCow June 09, 2019 | 20:59
    Thank you, yesterday’s scare has just given me strength.
    I’m a non smoker for life😉
    Thanks again
  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW June 10, 2019 | 23:41
    just say NOPE, not one puff ever
  • HolyCow June 11, 2019 | 7:23
    After spending the weekend in er amongst people who have had limbs amputated, others on respiratory devices.... my discipline has gone from strong to stronger.
    I’m a non smoker for life and soon my wife will be as well.
    Thank you kindly for thinking of me ☺️

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