Stories & experiences

Robn
48
Stories
24/07/2017
Joined

Just a thought

Posted in Hints and tips 15 Dec 2018
12 Comments

I was just thinking about how I felt when I first started my quit journey. I would read the stories on here and think...I will never be able to do what these people have done. And they make it sound so damn easy....don’t they struggle some days? They are so positive and keep going on about how easy it can be. I have had more quit attempts than hot dinners and none of them were easy...until this one! I changed my thinking completely...I really wanted this to be my last quit...so I really thought about my addiction. I started to hate the smokes for all that they had cost me, time, money, self esteem, slavery to the habit. There was not one positive that I could come up with for smoking....and my hatred grew. Instead of feeling deprived as I always had before...I felt relief to be free of the smoking trap and I can honestly say after smoking for 48 years, I do not miss them at all and I have never felt better. Now when I see others smoking, which is becoming less and less, I feel sorry for them because they are still in the trap. So if you are new on this site or early on in your quit....it really can be easy...it is in you to make it so!

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12 Comments

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  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW December 16, 2018 | 17:36
    Hello Robyn.
    Just how different has this Quit been compared to your others. Was it when you realized you hated the smokes that made the difference this time?
    I possibly had a love hate relationship with my addiction and as my quit progresses and the weeks turn into months, I'd expect the love to disappear and the hatred to grow!

    Would you call that a good mindset or is it something else?
  • Robn December 16, 2018 | 18:02
    Hi Puffnomore,
    I guess because I wanted this to be my last quit, I really looked at my addiction in detail and absolute honesty for the first time ever. Asking myself questions such as...what does smoking do for me, what does it really give me, how does it make my life better, what has it cost me in terms of self loathing, self esteem, financially. When I could not come up with one positive about the habit, I got angry about all the false reasons I smoked for all those years. And I have channeled that anger toward smoking and it has given me the mindset that I now have. I was living a lie.....thinking that smoking was my friend...reality is it just took and took from me.
    It is true that you will not crave what you don’t want....so make the smokes something you absolutely hate and never want again.
    I loved smoking....I really enjoyed it....so I thought at the time. But what really happens is your continual need to top up the nicotine...that is why we smoked because we thought we could not break the cycle. Now we know that we can break that cycle and life is 100% better.
    Once you really hate those smokes and never want to go back to that slavery again....you will have the right mindset. Just think about your smoking days, without the rose coloured glasses...see smoking for what it really is. You are on the right path, stay strong and proud to be a non smoker.
  • Happiness December 16, 2018 | 18:18
    Hi PuffNoMore. It is Robn who has the right mindset, and as much as you want to hate the cigarette (smoking) i think you still harbor a longing for it. You did say you possibly had a love hate relationship. Does that mean in the past and you now hate it? Or do you just expect time will make you hate it eventually. Time passes, but will not heal this wistfulness. It is better to just make up your mind that a quit is a quit and that it means forever... not but someday. You will quit smoking i am sure, but you will hear two voices fighting in your head from time to time until one wins.

    Then silence.

    Peace

  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW December 16, 2018 | 18:22
    There's been alot of chatter about mindset and I've just realized that it may mean different things to different people and that mindset is ones own thinking process.
    I do like the analogy of hating the cancer stick for me. Others I like is the Nico Monster!......And not being held hostage to the habit is another fav.
    I'll just keep telling myself that i don't need them and most importantly

    I DON'T WANT THEM
  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW December 16, 2018 | 18:30
    yes Happiness
    Its the chit chat of yes or no that i'd like to stop, it is easing I must say
    YIPPEE
    But Silence is golden And my mind doesn't give me alot of blissful peace just yet
  • Robn December 16, 2018 | 19:45
    It will give you peace when you decide that without a doubt you never ever want to smoke again....really believe it. You are correct, mindset is different for everyone but the same end result...never wanting to smoke ever again. I guess another way to put it is mindset is your inner resolve to do or not do something.
    You will have those little arguments with yourself until you get that inner resolve that you never want another smoke.
    Don’t be a non smoker who can’t have one....be a non smoker that doesn’t want one ever. Hope I have helped....stay strong you are doing really well.
    Read Allen Carr’s book. “Easy way to stop smoking”....he explains the mind set better than I can...lol
  • Happiness December 16, 2018 | 19:56
    I am glad it is easing up PuffNoMore. We shall take that an an encouraging sign that your thoughts are heading in the right direction. Now we just want to put it on auto pilot. Have you ever driven a route so much that you forget to turn off to where you are actually going? Well in this case, we know where we are going, and no detours. No thinking required.

    Christmas is coming. Peace on Earth.
  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW December 16, 2018 | 20:43
    LOL
    I like that analogy NO DETOURS
    Thanks guys
  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW December 16, 2018 | 22:02
    Robyn this is the BEST description of anti smoking mind set Ive read. I wonder if others like safe or red could better this? Thank you Robyn.
    She said
    "I guess another way to put it is mindset is your inner resolve to do or not do something.
    You will have those little arguments with yourself until you get that inner resolve that you never want another smoke.
    Don’t be a non smoker who can’t have one....be a non smoker that doesn’t want one ever."

    Can anyone else explain the MindSet better
  • Red-67 December 17, 2018 | 2:12
    I think that says it very well. The only thing I would change is...
    Don't be a smoker, that can't have one, make the choice, to become a non smoker :)
  • Safe2017 December 17, 2018 | 11:17
    Well done Robbin, Everyone’s journey, reasons to quit and mindset will be somewhat different but your resolve to quit certainly must exceed your desire to smoke. In my previous quits that I spectacularly failed I have learned that there is no such thing as one puff only because one puff turns into a full blown addiction again. At least in my case it does. Nowadays I don’t see any upside to smoking, just downside. All the best to you in your quit.
  • Sphinx, Hunter New England December 19, 2018 | 14:03
    Hi puff no more.. I am 12wks cigfree....I totally know what you say about “mindset” that is what I am struggling with at times...I have gone back to swimming as a non smoker ...after 8mths off...it’s hard work however I am sure that I get better than how I was ...
    Thanks Robin for yr sensible words... this is what I love about this site....merry Christmas to all x

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