So What Is A Craving?
My hubby just told me he had a craving. Something that neither he nor I have had since our first few days of detoxing from nicotine. While someone just asked how long cravings last, I said forever because I know my Dad quit decades ago yet will still yet seldom have a thought of smoking. I have always referred to cravings as mere thoughts. Mere thoughts, as opposed to excruciating physical pain which fans the fear in every potential person wanting to quit. Some say they have physical sweats, headaches, dizziness,anxiety etc, which can also be caused by medication or nrt's , not eating, too much caffeine and other things that could be and are most likely the cause.
I have always maintained that I have had no cravings because I had not experienced relentless thought of smoking like i had decades ago (and i failed). So when hubby said he had a craving i looked up the definition.
one definition is .....a strong or uncontrollable desire
that may mean one thing to someone and quite another to someone else. What of strong but controllable? If we can control our thought flow, turn it off, was it a craving or just a thought? What if i had a thought of smoking but no actual desire? Is that different from a thought of a cigarette but no desire to smoke it?
Another definition is ......a powerful desire for something
they give an example of craving chocolate
I ask you if a craving for chocolate or pickles has given you any physical pain if not met?
The definition goes on with synonyms.....longing, yearning, burning, hunger, addiction,need, want, desire, wish, want etc.....
Both definitions if you note make mention of DESIRE, but how do you desire something that you truly don't want?
Hence, even though hubby thought and used the term craving doesn't mean he had any real need to consider let alone give any credulence to the option of smoking. In the past he has by habit reached for a cigarette where they should have been, or mistaken smoke from a mosquito coil as a lit smoke and reached for it. All unconscious acts of habit. Like smoking in a dream is very disconcerting until you realize it was just a dream. Usually being appalled and then a flood of relief is common. That conscious feeling is what truly matters.
I guess the bottom line is that we may forever have moments of remembering that we once smoked, but unless we let desire for it take root in our minds i don't think we have to be overly concerned. By joining the forum regularly and remembering how we fought for better quality of life, longevity and valuing the better things in life, we can remain smoke-free.
Thanks for your response Red. You are right on with the statement....it is simply a thought process.
You and I both realized that in the early days and both without reading Allen Carr's book. We both got excited and hoped to be able to help others in accepting this wonderful journey. Embracing it wholeheartedly get you there faster and a whole lot less uncomfortable for sure. Where as I may not have suffered and have that as a future deterrent, I see a lot of pain and misery here. All we can do is try to guide and support the best we can. Sometimes i get too emotionally involved, but I cannot and will not let someone do harm to themselves. Evil wins when Good does nothing.
Learn the truth about nicotine, what it did. Change your mind against it and move on. Embrace the journey and be free! ;)
For me there is a difference between a craving when I’m actively smoking then when I am in a strong quit mindset. When I’m actively smoking and it’s been a few hours, I legitimately feel the urge to smoke as strong as an urge to eat a meal or drink water. When I’m in an active quit mindset the cravings are different. It’s more like having a craving for pizza when I am eating healthy and training. I don’t want the pizza because it doesn’t align with my goals, but there is still the occasional inner desire for it.
I think the key is that you know and accept that Pizza is bad for your goals, just as smoking would derail your desired outcome. Change the craving to what you really desire and not what you cannot have. Then you feels less inclined to feel deprived in any way. You are getting what you want and in the process being reminded with each craving, that you are in control and winning!
Hi everyone, I can agree that as far as smoking is concerned craving is " .....a strong or uncontrollable desire". I failed quitting numerous times because I couldn't control my cravings. Like TryingTK wrote "I legitimately feel the urge to smoke as strong as an urge to eat a meal or drink water." That's how I felt too in the beginning of my quit. During my last and final quit my cravings were really strong and with sheer willpower I was able to control them and not fall off the wagon. But there were times when I was on the edge of restarting. Glad I didn't.
I also agree with Red that you have to leave WANT behind: otherwise, sooner or later one starts smoking again. For a long time my mindset was that I was a smoker who chose not to smoke and because of that mindset twice I had restarted smoking after a fairly long abstinence. I am no longer a smoker and I do not Want to smoke but I still believe in NOPE mantra. However, initially my cravings were bad but as the time passed they became fleeting moments and nanoseconds and from nicotine cravings they changed to general cravings. Long live smoke free. Cheers
I am sorry that Safe had such a difficult time of it. That is why both Red and I spend our time on this site trying to make it an easier journey for all. The battle really is won in the Mind. Acceptance of never having a cigarette again.....but look at the trade offs. Who could image how good we would feel. I never really thought about that part of it until i joined a forum, quit and found out first hand. In the past, I too was in the mentality that I would be giving up something that I enjoyed. Knowing the truth, realizing how nicotine took over, how it controls, all helps to recondition your thoughts towards this evil drug.
Thanks to you Safe, I know that I will never dare to think that I could just have one. There is no such thing. So thanks, for stressing the importance of the NOPE mantra (Not One Puff Ever) for the newbies to remember and NEVER forget!
Hi everyone, I can agree that as far as smoking is concerned craving is " .....a strong or uncontrollable desire". I failed quitting numerous times because I couldn't control my cravings. Like TryingTK wrote "I legitimately feel the urge to smoke as strong as an urge to eat a meal or drink water." That's how I felt too in the beginning of my quit. During my last and final quit my cravings were really strong and with sheer willpower I was able to control them and not fall off the wagon. But there were times when I was on the edge of restarting. Glad I didn't.
I also agree with Red that you have to leave WANT behind: otherwise, sooner or later one starts smoking again. For a long time my mindset was that I was a smoker who chose not to smoke and because of that mindset twice I had restarted smoking after a fairly long abstinence. I am no longer a smoker and I do not Want to smoke but I still believe in NOPE mantra. However, initially my cravings were bad but as the time passed they became fleeting moments and nanoseconds and from nicotine cravings they changed to general cravings. Long live smoke free. Cheers
Very interesting reading. I've never tried to quit just like Red-67. I couldn't imagine not WANTING to smoke. I didn't WANT to give up something I enjoyed just because others wanted me to. Probably something psychological in that! BUT.... Day 5 is here and I WANT to be an EX smoker and I will be. I'm feeling really good about myself and happy and proud of myself...although Nicorette is definitely keeping me calm and level so I can deal with the other mindset. I think I'll stay on this level for minimum 8 weeks. Maybe reduce to lower dose patch then. No hurry. I'd rather not risk my success.
Hi. In a nutshell, once a smoker, always a smoker. Nothing like that lighter delivering the first lung full of smoke. Ever heard a non smoker wish to light up? No way. It is hard to forget what comfort that nicotine fix gave us. Best we don't and never go back there. But we don't have to pretend it wasn't good. Just as well there came a time when we decided too much of a good thing is enough.
I don't know that i could go so far to say that smoking was a good thing...lol. We believed it at the time (even though we were warned that it causes illness) . We became addicted and we accepted it.(because we never thought we would become addicted to something that tasted so bad and that made you hack up a lung on the first try) We made the best of a bad situation and lived through it.(whether you quit or you don't)
In a sense we coped with smoking as best as we could and came to accept it. Underneath the deception , even to ourselves, we knew we regretted starting but we felt trapped, weak and helpless.
You no longer have to feel trapped, the problem is that being in that "cage" has brought comfort and familiarity and now even when the door is left wide open we are hesitant to leave it. It is the only world which we have known for so long.
This forum is a great place to learn and grow. Open your mind and see the possibilities. Seize the opportunity and make your return home to live your life as you were meant to...as a non-smoker.
LIA
I dont think you should use that phrase of "once a smoker always a smoker". I know you have successfully stayed off the smokes for 4.5 years, but, please, some people can declare themselves free of smokes as soon as one day.
You like to start a thread on here , and I love that you do that but your comment is not true for every ex- smoker.....Some people free themselves
LIA
I think that most of us can understand your point. And the sooner we forget about that packet of smokes the better.
Everyone has their own terms whether it be ex-smoker or non-smoker. Red has a valid point in that we want the mentality of a non-smoker to accept this journey fully and to put all desire to smoke put to bed. Although others have achieved their dreams of "choosing not to smoke, they still continue to believe that they enjoyed it and even described it as a good thing. That must be a continual stress to keep the commitment of not smoking.
Non-smokers , real ones, never smokers, never had that stress because they never smoked. As smokers thinking as non-smokers, we too can leave behind all desire for smoking with the acceptance of the truth...that smoking never did us one bit of good, gave us nothing and it in fact did the opposite of what we (with the help of society, advertising and with repeated lies from smokers themselves) believed it to do for us.
It is actually the cause of our stress, boredom, anxiety, lack of concentration, relaxation. How many money problems or health issue could have been avoided? Nicotine is a stimulant , not a relaxant, our blood pressure rises. If we can't feed our addiction we get stressed. We would not have that stress if we did not have that addiction. We could concentrate fully without having to break for the constant nagging of nicotine. Lack of oxygen and fear of having to go a time without feeding the monster gave us less desire to pursue other enjoyment and socializing in life. Even shame when smoking fell out of grace, It stole our innocence, self worth, confidence and ability to even protect ourselves from harm. We brainwashed ourselves to cover our stupidily. The only time smoking really feels good is to relieve the craving. Even cravings are not what we have come to believe. Mere thoughts the nicotine monster sends to remind us to feed him.
Learn the truth about nicotine and you. Starve the nico monster.
Believe the truth, believe in yourself and Believe you can be free.
The Battle really is won in the mind!