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I put this down as day two and a half because it is not officially day 3 until 6.40pm tonight!
yesterday was a huge struggle. emotions running wild. problems here at home sparked my waving thoughts, emotinos have usually been my main trigger ...... stress, upsets, emotions, arguments, all the yucky stuff. and major yuck happened, to the point of hubby walking down to town and purchased "himself" smokes. all i could do is cry. i thought we were doing this together.
all the struggles we have had over past couple years all came washing back, oh how i wanted to give in an have a smoke.
other than his arrogance v's my whole "i wanna be strong" .. it was the smell that put me off. i simply dont want to go back to smelling like that. my first thought was my poor boys, having to put up with their mother each and every day smelling like that ............. ewwwww
this morning proved a new issue. hubby went to light up a smoke, outside of course, but where i was sitting peacefully enjoying the fresh air. he is oblivious to my struggles to not smoke as he gave in to his.
oh today will be a tense day.
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