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This will be the nth times I try to quit smoking. I quitted on cold turkey for 4.5 years as a promise to my boyfriend that I would quit as soon as we were engaged. It was a piece of cake to quit cold turkey back then even I had been smoking for 10 years. I couldn't recall experiencing any withdrawal symtoms, I guess the engagement and the dream of spending the rest of my life with the one I love were so powerful and joyeous to outweight any withdrawal symtoms. I picked up the cigarettes again to stop the crying from being cheated on by now my ex-husband. That same person that I gave it up to begin with. It's been a long 7 yrs since the divorce and this time I want to quit for myself and stay off it for good. I have tried the NRT, the cold turkey, and the cut down to quit in the last 5 years but all failed. Being alone and doing it alone is really hard, especially only a few of my close friends know that I smoke and my family certainly doesn't. Acknowledging that, I used the quit line last time I tried, but still not enough support because I was afraid and ashamed to talk about it with a person over the phone. Then I saw the 'We Can Quit' ad on TV and know that this could very well be the best way to help myself quit this annoying habit and addiction. I can write about it which I feel less 'exposed' and I can even cry while writing the stumbles, the fear, the worry. Have set my quit date on 1st July, the first day of second half of 2013. 4 days away. Right now, I am feeling scared (a bit closed to petrified) that I would be a smoker until the day I died if I can't quit it this time.
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