Stories & experiences


You will hate yourself if you pick up even one cigarette.

Posted in Hints and tips 02 Dec 2021

I am having a tough day which I'm not dealing with very well. We (my brother, sister and I) think that our mother is dying. She fell and broke her hip and we knew the prognosis was not good. She is 93, has had a full life, and I will miss her dearly. In the meantime, I am tasked with writing her obituary and it hasn't been that long since I gave up cigarettes. It's been complicated with cigs and me: we go back a long time to when I was 16, and then off and on over the years -- sometimes for sixteen years at a time. This time I had quit for seven months, and then fallen into again for three weeks. So now I am only 19 days into the quit and am having terrible cravings tonight. Problem is, that three days ago I was here on this website bragging about this method I'd found to deal with the cravings: 100 steps. The distance from my office to my bedroom is ten steps, so ten times I walk those ten steps, telling myself how good it feels to have clean lungs and the ability to breathe without coughing. I guess I'd better start walking and counting and breathing.

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  • Safe2017 December 03, 2021 | 3:40
    Hi Goodlands,
    I am really sorry to hear about your mom. It's devastating when something bad happens to our loved ones.
    Not to preach, but in my opinion picking up a cig now under stress is the worst thing you can do to yourself. If you do light one up, most likely the following will happen:
    1) Immediate feeling of guilt and regret due to succumbing to your vice.
    2) Instead of dealing with one problem having to deal with two problems. That is a) Stress relating to your mom's situation and b) Addiction. Even when stress will go away your addiction will remain.
    With that in mind, stay strong. Chewing gums and eating carrots helped me during my quit.
    Good luck.
  • NOPE-2021 December 03, 2021 | 8:21
    Stay strong and positive. My thoughts are with you....
  • Happiness December 03, 2021 | 11:08
    Yes, I understand your stress and sympathize. Smoking however will not help you in any way. My Dad would be so disappointed if I took up smoking due to his passing. i am sure your mother would feel the same.
    So sorry for your loss Goodlands, but remember that you are done with excuses. You CAN do this!
  • Robn December 03, 2021 | 17:46
    Hi Goodlands, tough time for you and I am sorry to hear that your mum isn’t well. But will giving in to a cigarette change that?
    Will it help you through this tough time? You know the answer. Do whatever it takes to not smoke. Think about your mum and how disappointed she would be that you caved because she isn’t well. You are stronger than the don’t need it, you don’t want it. Don’t be part of the part of the solution.
    My thoughts are with you.
  • Lia December 05, 2021 | 12:31
    Hi Goodlands. You can see we all understand your pain. What you are experiencing is called 'life'. Life is always full of ups and dons as you well know. Do you think a non smoker in a similar situation would reach for a cigarette. Try yelling or screaming or simply celebrating the life of a dear one rather than punishing yourself. Concentrate on creating the best ecology you can. Cigarettes will only reduce your own longevity. Delay the inevitable. Focus on the good things in your life. It's easy to wallow. Best done in small doses balanced by positive thoughts. Wishing you well.

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