Stories & experiences



Posted in Reasons to quit 07 May 2021

I don't have a hint or a tip today. But it's 42 days since I found freedom and stopped smoking. My problem is that today I'm feeling a great deal of stress because of family pressures. It started with my brother who looks after my mother's affairs. She's 92 and in a care facility. He refused to give me some information which was important about my mother. My sister won't even speak to him on the phone because she comes away frustrated with every conversation, because he refuses to share information or gives it out in dribs and drabs. Then two days later my daughter attacked me because I spent 2 1/2 years with a psychiatrist trying to sort out my life. I am feeling a huge amount of stress today and want more than anything else to have a cigarette. I know that I would feel better, but I know I am a puff away from a pack a day. Thank you for letting me share.

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  • Happiness May 07, 2021 | 4:24
    You will get through this Goodlands. You know that smoking won't help one little bit, and you know that throwing 42 days of great work away for a possible lifetime of smoking at the expense of thousands and unknown medical uncertainty would be a big mistake.

    I am sorry that your brother is not more open with you, but why your daughter would be upset now with your past history seems to be more of the issue. We can only control our thoughts, reasons and actions. You need to ask her why she feels as she does. Don't blame yourself.
    A story is told many ways with the truth generally somewhere in the center. Whether right or wrong, try to understand how she feels, sympathize, apologize and ask her what you can do to make your relationship better. Tell her that She is important. Don't close up on her like your brother did on you.

    Things have ways of working out. Stay positive. You can control the nicoman. You can do what your believe is right and control what you do. We are stronger than we think.
  • matik_one May 07, 2021 | 4:40
    I have for you bad news, you wouldn't feel better after cigarette, after 42days, you would feel worse.. isn't easy, I believe you, but you will have good day when you will continie in quitting and remember this day as the day when you almost slip up.. You need to recognize now, that these things are just exceses to allow you smokd again, but you really don't want to, 42days are a proof.. go ahead and stay strong.. sending you power.. :)
  • softly40, Mid North Coast May 07, 2021 | 8:20
    Congratulations on 42 days smoke free Goodlands. Family maters are filled with emotions which are sometimes difficult to handle at times, that is true.

    If you feel like you are just one smoke away, then you need to think about yourself for a while, you need to practice NOPE (not one puff ever) that is the only thought that should be crossing your mind right now. You can handle this situation in a better light, when your thoughts are continually on not smoking.

    It needs a strong thought process and actions that follow to bring love to yourself and not to sabotage your quit. No excuses. Just NOPE (not one puff ever) spoken written and thought every day. Come back anytime.
  • Robn May 07, 2021 | 11:30
    Hi Goodlands, life gets tough sometimes as we all know. Control what you can and let the rest go. You owe it to yourself to put yourself first....look after you now. Starting up smoking again will lead to more misery that you don’t want or need. Take time to do nice things for yourself. This too shall pass.
    Stay strong and do what you know is right for you
  • Scrat, Mid North Coast May 08, 2021 | 18:54
    My husband and I are 69 days smoke free, we are both so thrilled with our achievements thus far. We are both determined to stay smoke free as we are both in a beautiful place with not smoking. To all the people wanting to quit just do it. We were both 20 smokes a day and spending $9.000 per year, let along what it was doing to our health. Keep up the great work
  • Goodlands May 09, 2021 | 5:25
    I can't believe what a wonderful support group you all are. I DID NOT grab a cigarette after my altercation with my daughter and we have since made up -- as we always do.

    I am celebrating Mother's Day today with her and my two grandchildren. I went to babysit them yesterday for a couple of hours because we have a spike in COVID cases here and schools from K-Grade 12 have been shut down.

    When I was smoking, I would never go for walks -- never exercise. My life has always been extremes -- discipline or dissipation. For 44 days now I have been walking and exercising every day. Yesterday I took my two grandsons to the park and we played with balls and bats. As I was chasing after the balls, I reminded myself that I would've been winded and would've had to sit down after one minute, but we played for nearly an hour.

    What a great pleasure it is to be able to do that.

    Happiness you are so good with words as are all the people on this website. I love the term Nicoman! That's a great word. You offer such wise wise advice. Remember the Ann Landers advice columns in the newspapers. You could do that. Matik, Softly, Robyn and Scrat I love to read your posts. There's a wonderful book by an American psychologist and business consultant called TEAM HUMAN. My husband read it and found it superficial but he has some excellent information in there. One line really stuck out for me -- FIND THE OTHERS. Even though you are oceans away, you are my team -- SUCCESSFUL QUITTERS. Thank you for supporting me.

    I wish you all a wonderful Mother's Day. And if your mother is no longer with you, I do hope you enjoy some memories with fondness. Being a mother is a tough tough job and no child comes with an instruction booklet. All of us have failings and do wish we'd done at least some things differently. I certainly do; however, one thing I'm proud of is when my daughter turned 16 and got her driver's license, I made her change all the tires on the car so in case she had a flat, she would know what to do. I made her do this BEFORE she could take the car out on her own.

    Thank you all of you for helping me defeat NICOMAN!!!
  • Robn May 09, 2021 | 16:40
    Woo have turned your life around. Accolades to super proud and determined to never go back to that slavery.
    Life is great as a non smoker and now you see many benefits and not one downside. I am thrilled for you and your family, make sure you spoil yourself as often as you can to celebrate your new life. NOPE....not one puff ever
  • Happiness May 14, 2021 | 7:27
    Thank you Goodlands. I am always happy to be of help if i can. It sounds like you may be from Canada too. I am in Ontario, just north of Toronto..and you? We are under stay at home orders for another 2 weeks. I get my first vaccine on Saturday. Personally, I don't go far, and would rather see the others that are out and about get theirs. I do check on my aging parents at their house so will feel a little safer for them. At least I am looking forward to backyard visits soon as we are getting some lovely weather.

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