Stories & experiences

Jessfreeof
Northern NSW
13
Stories
17/08/2020
Joined

coming back in

Posted in Reasons to quit 15 Oct 2020
46 Comments

Hello everyone I have a had a hiccup. I was overwhelmed by my son being sent to prison last week and no matter how hard I tried I was unable to stop myself from reaching for the tobacco. I have been talking with the folks on the quitline phone and have made the decision to to put the tobacco back down this Saturday. Someone from the quitline will also call me on Saturday to assist me in continuing on from here. I hope you have all been keeping well and smoke free. If you have had a slip or setback and are struggling with leaving the smokes alone and you haven't yet called the quitline my suggestion would be to give them a call and have a chat. Just being back on this site and being honest with where I am at is another step in the right direction. I have missed you all this past week and am so grateful that I dont get booted out for slips and setbacks. Love and Light to you all xo Jess

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46 Comments

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  • Robn October 15, 2020 | 23:00
    Hi Jess, chin up lovey, life throws us some really crappy stuff sometimes but we have a cry and then we get going again. You are still on your goal path, so just keep going. So you slipped up....be kind to yourself....love yourself....and know in your heart that things will get better. Keep smiling, keep trying and that makes you a winner everyday of the week xx
  • Gemma23 October 15, 2020 | 23:10
    Chip up jess we have all had our slip ups.
    Sorry to hear that about your son ☹☹
    Keep your chin up your strong and you can get through this.
    Have a lovely day orr evening where you are.
    I had a lovely day gardening again
    Really keeps me close.to not smoking
    Do love the fresh air. Be positive and not hard on yourself xxx
  • Happiness October 16, 2020 | 2:06
    Hi Jess. I am not sure why or where you posted thanks. I owe you one.
    You have slipped, but when you had pevious slips did you get right back on the horse?
    Have you learned anything while being with us?
    When you see positive behaviour as in a child, it should be rewarded.
    Your body already thanks you for the reprieve and time to do some repair.
    You have gained confidence in yourself and know know you have the grit to overcome.
    I am sorry to hear of your family problems, yet smoking will not help.
    We are here for you and admire your honestly and integrity.
    We believe in you....you will quit smoking
    May your day be filled with light and self forgiveness and come Saturday...Smoke-free!
  • softly40, Mid North Coast October 16, 2020 | 7:55
    Hello Jess, not a good thing to happen to you or your son, but it is you we are all interested in for your quit journey. We all have set backs that is true, I did myself, so yes be kind to yourself regarding this. Have a look back on your last post, you did not count your slip up into your non-smoking time but this is what you might need to do this time.

    Do not punish yourself but do not let yourself get away with not noting it down somewhere. Take those days off your non smoking quit, and begin from there. I am all for getting counseling it will be good for you for a little while but do count those days into your quit. One thing to keep in mind is, it is not your fault regarding your son. Keep on going and let us all know how things are for you soon.
  • Chwoe, Southern NSW October 16, 2020 | 13:38
    so ur son goes 2 prison but u have time to make fun of me in my own comments......... go bail ur son out lovey
  • jessfreeof, Northern NSW October 16, 2020 | 14:32
    Hi Chwoe making fun of you couldn't of been any further from my intentions. I wish nothing but Love and Light to you chwoe may your heart be filled with pure joy and may you be given all you need to make you a happy loving contributing human. I will not be interacting with you any further as you and I couldnt be any further apart on our journeys in life. All the best to you and anyone who has you in their life
  • jessfreeof, Northern NSW October 16, 2020 | 14:39
    Thank you robn softly happiness and gemma for your comments suggestions and encouragement I have taken them all on board and have been doing all my preparations for my restart tomorrow. Connect soon jess xo
  • Lia October 16, 2020 | 21:38
    HI jessfreeof. The positive comments here are just what you no doubt need. Best support group ever. It is hard enough giving up smoking and we understand why you erred. We feel your pain with what has happened to your son. Regardless, you know that inhaling smoke won't help with anything. It just acts as a distraction and when you are done, the hurt and the problems are still there. Deal with the things in your life that you must and can. Make a different plan. You do not need a crutch. There is someone on this site who is like poison, almost like the nicotine we are trying to be rid of. This person is in the same category. Just keep listening to the who know you are nursing a heavy heart. All the best.
  • New chapter October 16, 2020 | 22:01
    Welcome back Jess and I’m sorry to hear about your son bless you,your back on the journey of living a healthy smoke free life again from tomorrow,while your smoking the last of your smokes today Jess,have a look inside yourself,think of the beautiful you ,and the destruction your causing yourself inside,while I’m writing this post,in the back of my mind I’ve got a picture of a guy with a chain saw chopping down a tree in the rain forest,I kind of see your body like the rain forest,beautiful,endangered and needs preserving,and I see a cigarette as the chainsaw slaying you down,time to put the chainsaw down Jess and preserve that beautiful temple of yours ,one day at a time,let nature and fresh air purify that lovely temple of yours,draw a line under the past Jess and start again,a pure fresh start built on positivity and good foundation,your a lovely soul Jess whom in the time I’ve been on here have read some beautiful inspiring posts from you,to me personally and to others on here,when the sun comes up tomorrow I will have a thought and make a wish for you girl to you girl I raise my cup of tea,and toast your smoke free future😀x
  • Gemma23 October 17, 2020 | 20:14
    Hi Jess how you keeping now?
    Have you come back from.the slip.up?
    You no we are your friends here and we are here.to help you through this hard time.
    Be strong lovely lady you can do it.
    I bought some more plants today 🙂🙂🌿🌿🌻🌻🌼
  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW October 17, 2020 | 20:39
    Hi Jess, I'm willing you on to0. We do care. Our lives are filled with some awkward S!it sometimes and somehow, we get over it.
    I found a way to get over my smoking addiction. I had heaps of trouble at first. But I got over it and although I'm not quite as happy as a pig in mud, I get by without the expense $185.50 every week! And the stench of those people waiting in-line to squander their money is disgusting to me now.
    We all take it a day at a time. Even those who have clocked up years smoke free.
    Stay strong buddy
  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW October 17, 2020 | 20:42
    You will do it when your good and ready.
    I was told that by others and its the truth
    Good n ready
  • jessfreeof, Northern NSW October 17, 2020 | 22:24
    Thank you Lia Gemma New chapter and PuffNoMore for all of your comments they mean a lot to me. I am reading Allen Carrs book again I read it once many years ago. Unfortunately it wasn't a smoke free day for me today however I am not giving up on becoming smoke free again. I really thought I had cracked it and would never pick it up again. I must still be battling it inside me somewhere. With what happened with my son I knew the smokes were not going to change anything there however it was the anxiety that burned in my chest so hard. I sat with it for hours trying all I could to bring it down until I couldn't take the burning anymore and lit a cigarette. I know it sounds crazy but smoking helped with the burning. So its fair to say I needed them at the time. Only problem is getting back off them. The amount of tools I use on a daily basis I really thought I would of been better equipped to deal with any situation with out a cigarette. It is very helpful talking this out as it is helping me step back in again otherwise I will isolate myself and I will not stand a chance of quitting that way. I'm really not sure how I am going to do this again but I will find a way. Happy gardening Gemma. Love and Light to all our lungs xo jess
  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW October 17, 2020 | 22:39
    You are very much appreciated and understood from my perspective. I've been through it and so have many other members reading, I'm sure. Its so hard to describe the feeling I had on this site over 2 years. I supported smokers Quit their junk, yet, I would FAIL after 97 days,,,,even 127 days smoke free. Could have been soul destroying to me, but, I got through my glass ceiling and laughing all the way to the bank now.
    Do it when ya' good'n'ready
  • jessfreeof, Northern NSW October 17, 2020 | 22:45
    Thanks PuffNoMore ❤️ xo 🧘
  • PuffNoMore, Southern NSW October 17, 2020 | 23:05
    Thats ok but I feel I needed to highlight what you said." I will isolate myself and I will not stand a chance of quitting that way." You may not realize it talking yourself back into the twisted thinking and self talk that nicotine or more aptly smoking addiction makes us think.
    Smoking nicotine is mind altering. There is no wonder its so difficult to break. But breaking the mind off of smoking the highly addictive drug is needed to shatter our brain of want of it.
    Do it when you good n ready.
    It is a mind game.
  • Happiness October 17, 2020 | 23:18
    I hope you are resuming your journey today. Grasp that gold ring and make the jump to freedom . You know you can do it, and how it is one of the best things you can do for yourself and loved ones.
    Put that smile back on your face and hold our hands......
  • jessfreeof, Northern NSW October 17, 2020 | 23:31
    PuffNoMore that is really powerful what you just said there about breaking the mind off of cigarettes. You are spot on with my thinking that is twisted stinking thinking. Thank you for spelling that out for me. I would never of got that myself . You are a gem 😊
  • Happiness October 17, 2020 | 23:33
    Sorry, I didnt realize that I missed a couple of dialogues between you and PuffNoMore. Read Allan Carr and understand what he says....every word. Take your time ....... Read my story and use the tips in it for some steps to understanding and grasping the mindset. Think about every cigarette you smoke, how it taste, make it unpleasant as possible although you are not denying yourself of one. Just putting in the time and wishing for that next one defeats the purpose. .......see how it controls you. Resent it. WANT to be free. Change your thinking, and your mind and there is no need for willpower. You will not crave what you do not desire.
    My story is called If Youve Given Up Giving Up, Try This! It didnt work for PuffNoMore unfortunately, but I hope it will help you and or someone else. Nothing to lose by reading and everything to gain! Just click on my name right here and go back many stories.........You can quit smoking......
  • jessfreeof, Northern NSW October 17, 2020 | 23:55
    Thank you happiness I have just gone back and read it. I will go back and read it again tomorrow there is so much in it. ❤️
  • Robn October 18, 2020 | 0:39
    Hi Jess, hope each day sees you growing stronger again and more positive. This is simply a bump in the road, don’t allow your slip up to be anything more than that. You have the inner strength to change what you can and accept the things that you can’t change. Good things always come to us in our darkest hours...it is true. Support your son and yourself, be kind to yourself and everything will fall into place when it should.
  • Happiness October 18, 2020 | 2:54
    Yes, the dependence on the drug called nicotine causes twisted, stinking thinking. It will have you believe that you are not feeling normal if you do not smoke when in fact we would feel normal just like non-smokers who don't have to have that fix of nicotine to feel normal. The cigarette is just a way to administer it, just as the patch and nicotine gums...they are just controlled and your body misses that quick delivery that cigarette manufacturers want to keep you buying their product. Tars and chemicals are also added to make the delivery quicker and smoother and taste better. Nicotine in itself is not as harmful, but don't anyone get hooked on those NRT's. That just stands for Nicotine Replacement Therapy and contains NICOTINE, the very substance that keeps us hooked. Then there is the hardest and longest part.... the retraining of the mind. We have convinced ourselves that we needed to smoke., for a time refusing to believe that we were hooked on such a vile tasting stick that made us gag initiallly. We told ourselves it made us cool, more interesting, less bored and a host of other excuses to save face. We smoke because we like it. How many times have we wished we could quit? Do you know of any non-smoker who wishes he smoked? Smoking has taken so much from us.....our money, time and health. You must have noticed better health in just a short time of abstinance. And the bank account could be used for so many worthwhile things. And the time...... how many things did we miss? We didn't want to go if we couldn't get our fix. How many times have you stood in the rain or a blizzard? Have you missed part of a great movie at the theater or even at home because you had to get that jolt of nicotine?
    When you realize that we deceived ourselves all this time, we know now why threats of losing life and limbs and pleas from family to quit killing ourselves were to no avail. We think we will die a smoker, that we have no choice, but nicotine is not as strong as you think. We are proof. We are non-smokers who took a stance and said "Enough".
    Change Your Mind and Change your Future
  • jessfreeof, Northern NSW October 18, 2020 | 9:01
    Thank you thank you thank you everyone xo
  • Gemma23 November 18, 2020 | 22:23
    Hi Jess how's the smoking going?
  • Jessfreeof, Northern NSW November 19, 2020 | 7:38
    Hi Gemma it is so lovely to hear from you. Unfortunately I have been unable to quit again however I have not given up on giving it another shot. I have been able to find my balance again in regards to my son's situation , I started a new job yesterday and have also picked my excercise back up. I guess it's fair to say I have been in a bit of a slump emotionally mentally and physically of late but I keep turning the corner on those front's. I will get back there soon. How are you doing Gemma? I can hardly believe you connected with me as I was on your sight last night as was going to ask you the same question. How uncanny. ❤️👯🌈
  • Gemma23 November 19, 2020 | 9:19
    I have unfortunately had a few slip up which led me back to smoking. And I no I really shouldn't be doing it as I did get a health scare earlier this year.
    I don't care what anyone says smokong it s hard to quit.
    But with every smoke I have I no the risks I am taking in veey very aware of that. My partner was.not impressed with m2 but said nor to five up giving up.
  • Gemma23 November 19, 2020 | 9:21
    Soert I meant not to give up giving up.
    I will so my best to get back on the horse vwet soon as I hate that I have come.bvak to.smoking after doing as well. 🌺🎊❤
  • Jessfreeof, Northern NSW November 19, 2020 | 9:37
    I'm hearing ya❤️ we have both learnt so much from our last attempts and no one can take that learning away from us. As PuffNoMore said to me we will do it when we are good and ready. I loved the freedom and confidence I had when I was smoke free and I will attempt it again. We will get back there Gemma just be kind forgiving and gentle on yourself until you do. I found the more I berated myself over it the more I smoked. I am slowly working my way back. ❤️👯🌈
  • Gemma23 November 19, 2020 | 18:28
    Yea it is very hard.
    I can't stand the smell of it but yet I still smoke them horrible things.
    I am going to start fresh tomorrow and go back to been a non smoker as I was saving heaps and looking and smelling much fresher.
    I have alot of support from people at work and home.
    It's all mind games.
    I think because I got all clear that i thought well o can have a smoke again and now it led me back to been a smoker. I was almost 6 months free and just like that I smoked again
    I am.not going to be hard on myself as you say jess the harder I am the more I smoke.
  • Gemma23 November 19, 2020 | 22:10
    I feel the longer I leave it the further I'm getting back to smoking ita been a month and I have been smoking for the whole month..
    I want to be a non smoker again before Xmas
    I have few party's coming up and I would rather not be smoking there as 1 of them is my qork Xmas party and they all think I'm still a.non smoker so I need to stay that way.
    It really is a horrible habbit but so very hard to kick.
    When do you plan on trying to quit again?
    Before Xmas? Xx
  • Gemma23 November 19, 2020 | 23:59
    Yes indeed we will hope to be 2 non smokers by Christmas ♥️ let's work towards been non smokers come Xmas time
  • Gemma23 November 21, 2020 | 0:03
    Indeed jess take all the hood things from out last attempt and put towards this next attempt let's start 1st week of December and be in touch and keep each other going through it I'm sure we can do it.
    Mind over matter. And it will be much better for us to be non smokers
    Most of all I really enjoyed not smelling bad and been proud when around other people.who smoke not to be smoking. That felt really good.
    And having friends proud of me for not smoking and wishing they didn't smoke.
    There is all good benifits of been a non smoker.
  • Gemma23 November 22, 2020 | 15:41
    Morning jess I was going to attempt aswell the other day but i thought I would wait untill december 1st.
    But since you are going to attempt tomorrow I will also.
    I am fed up again been a smoker.
    So I will attempt tomorrow aswell 23 November Monday.
    And then It will be 4 weeks to Xmas to be free again. 🥰🥳🥳 I guess better to bite the bullet and let's do it
  • Gemma23 November 22, 2020 | 18:06
    Sounds good to me no point holding off as yes it is disgusting addiction and also stink so bad 🤢🤢 let be fresh and clean and work together towards Xmas been free
    We can do it.
    I have 3 smokes here left and I will have my last 1 tonight and start fresh again tomorrow
    I'm actually looking forward to.it 💃🌻🌻🎊
  • Gemma23 November 22, 2020 | 20:36
    I have just had my last smoke at 5.35pm
    This is it now start fresh to been a non smoker 👊🙏💪💪🥳💃
  • Gemma23 November 22, 2020 | 21:22
    Yes that's right jess hasn't been to long since we where non smokers and we take what we had from that attempt to this 1
    Yes I think me also few days time I will be fine aswell
    It's just the additional first few days after that I will be back on the horse. And plus with my health scare I just have to look at my neck and I see my scar from operation and it makes me think don't be so stupid to fall for the devil twice.
    There's nothing good that comes from smoking
    It's all a.mind game and we are stronger than that.
    I'm really excited about this and round that I am going to do.it and nor give In.
    Do you have friends that are smokers that you see on a regular basis?
  • Gemma23 November 23, 2020 | 22:57
    How you going jess
  • Gemma23 November 23, 2020 | 23:10
    🙂👋👋 not good either I was thinking of you as I lit that smoke and thought I'm disgusted.
    But I have found something to put my attention on.
    I am.in process of finding a.golden reteriver puppy 🐕🐕😁😁🥰 and I think I have found a breeder who has pups in a month. So I thought right if I want a pup the smoking has to.go. so I have set my screen saver on my phone with a puppy dog and that's my thrive to stop this habbit.
    Work.towards a pup lol
    I'm going to start again tomorrow
  • Gemma23 November 23, 2020 | 23:25
    Yes 1st December isn't far away thats next Monday
    Only few days after me. We will get there.
    It's a hard habbit to get rid of but I am more determine now and I am giving myself something eles to think about for the new year. I'm soon to go to bed as work comes early in the morning.
  • Gemma23 November 23, 2020 | 23:31
    Night jess keep strong and talk again soon 😴😴💃💃
  • Gemma23 November 29, 2020 | 23:13
    Hi Jess
    Giws things.
    Getting closer to the day.
    I waited till December 1sr aswell.
    2 more days xx
  • Gemma23 November 29, 2020 | 23:13
    Sorry that was meant to be how is things 🙂🙂⛄
  • Gemma23 November 30, 2020 | 14:49
    I'm going good.
    I have chucked away whatever remaining smokes I had left and put them in the bin.
    I had a lovely shower and nice breakfast
    And now I am starting my journey as a non smoker 💃💃🤛🤛💪💪 I am really happy to do this again.
    I look most forward to smelling fresher again my hair especially. Just can't hid that smell of smoke.

  • Gemma23 December 01, 2020 | 20:41
    Day 1 for me tomorrow jess
    How about you?
  • Gemma23 December 03, 2020 | 18:31
    Day 1 smoke free
    How you doing jess? 💃💃
  • Gemma23 December 08, 2020 | 22:49
    Hi Jess how you doing with your journey? Still kicking it? 💃💃

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