Stories & experiences

Gemma23
32
Stories
13/05/2020
Joined

Disgusted

Posted in Reasons to quit 17 Sep 2020
6 Comments

Hi all well I am very angry and very disappointed with myself.

I had a smoke. I had just 1 smoke since I stopped 3 months ago.

And to be honest I felt sick to the gut with anger that I give in.

The thing is it triggers when I am at a friend's house

Because that's where I used to go and have a drink and a smoke with her. And today well it got me.

And now one hour after doing so I thought wow how disgusting it tasted and smell was Not impressed..

So I came home showered brushed my teeth and put them clothes in the washing machine. I was disgusted that I had 1 smoke.

Somehow I think though I needed to have that smoke just to really no I was missing nothing and well it is disgusting. And after all my health scare I actually went and smoked 1. Very stupid of me I no.

But now really I don't think I will do that again.

Gosh I never felt so annoyed I let it get the better of me. It was a real fight to fight that craving. But now I still feel horrible I did it but I am going to let it go and carry on like it never happened. I'm.not throwing away 3 months of hard work for 1 smoke..

I can do it and I will carry on.

I think what I do need to do is to avoid them triggers for a few more weeks. I just don't think I am strong enough just yet to be around her and the smoking but I have been doing so for the last 3 months. Been to see her as she was smoking I did not smoke but today was really hard to fight that craving..

1st hear is always the hardest. Never give up giving up.

Just very annoyed I done so. 😒😒

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6 Comments

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  • Happiness September 17, 2020 | 21:20
    Although it may have been a slip, if you move past this like i think you will, you will be less likely to tempt fate again. Just one puff can be your undoing. Thankfully, you are committed to turning your life around, regain your health and enjoy your new wealth. Not only were you disgusted with yourself but also the cigarette!
    We have times where the thought of smoking pops into our heads out of the blue even. It doesn't happen when people are smoking in front of me. Situations with triggers should be avoided if you are unsure of yourself. When the urge to smoke strikes, ignore it by immersing yourself in something else.

    You are doing great Gemma. Continue counting your days of being a happy non-smoker.
  • Gemma23 September 17, 2020 | 21:26
    Thanks happiness I am been really positive
    But I do find.it so hard.to ignore it especially qhen I am with my friend who does smoke.it front of me
    I find my self looking at the smoke she has in her hand and I get really drawn in on it. I don't no why this happens
    Could just be old habits I'm looking at.
    Yea part of me thinks I needed to smoke that and finally now move on.
    It really was horrible to smoke.
  • Safe2017 September 18, 2020 | 7:50
    You learned your lesson the hard way but you aren't the only one. It happens to most ex smokers one time or another. Suck it up and don't let one slip derail your quit. Practice NOPE - not one puff ever and carry a pack of chewing gum. Helped me a lot in times of doubt. Good luck, persevere and take it as a lesson learned. Cheers
  • softly40, Mid North Coast September 18, 2020 | 8:34
    Hi Gemma, just continue on, do not let this stop you from completely being smoke free. I can remember 3 months was when I thought I was over it and then the cravings or I should say the thoughts of cravings became more insistent, we can never be too complacent, I did not cave in this time, but had done so in the past at this stage. I adopted the NOPE Mantra after the 3 month period was up this kept me on the road to being happier wealthier and not disgusted with myself. Keep in touch we still care
  • Gemma23 September 18, 2020 | 8:36
    Thanks for the comments.
    I am still going to carry in and forget.it happened it's a lesson learned indeed and it really didn't taste all that great either.
    Like I said I think I needed to just have that 1 smoke and now move on keep you ting my days.
    Feel fine again now I mean I don't crave another smoke after I smoked that 1.
    Thanks all
  • matik_one September 18, 2020 | 15:45
    Despite of your slip I see you stayed possitive and full of willpower which is great.. you can and you will pass this period.. Everything ends up on what you want.. and you want to be non smoker.. I'm happy for you for your great decision.. :)

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