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Hi all well I am very angry and very disappointed with myself.
I had a smoke. I had just 1 smoke since I stopped 3 months ago.
And to be honest I felt sick to the gut with anger that I give in.
The thing is it triggers when I am at a friend's house
Because that's where I used to go and have a drink and a smoke with her. And today well it got me.
And now one hour after doing so I thought wow how disgusting it tasted and smell was Not impressed..
So I came home showered brushed my teeth and put them clothes in the washing machine. I was disgusted that I had 1 smoke.
Somehow I think though I needed to have that smoke just to really no I was missing nothing and well it is disgusting. And after all my health scare I actually went and smoked 1. Very stupid of me I no.
But now really I don't think I will do that again.
Gosh I never felt so annoyed I let it get the better of me. It was a real fight to fight that craving. But now I still feel horrible I did it but I am going to let it go and carry on like it never happened. I'm.not throwing away 3 months of hard work for 1 smoke..
I can do it and I will carry on.
I think what I do need to do is to avoid them triggers for a few more weeks. I just don't think I am strong enough just yet to be around her and the smoking but I have been doing so for the last 3 months. Been to see her as she was smoking I did not smoke but today was really hard to fight that craving..
1st hear is always the hardest. Never give up giving up.
Just very annoyed I done so. 😒😒
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