Stories & experiences

ashleebcd
South Eastern Sydney
1
Story
23/04/2020
Joined

Addictive personality

Posted in Getting started 24 Apr 2020
4 Comments

It’s something I know I need to to do but so scared to do it.

I’m 31 and only started fully smoking a little over a year ago.. really stupid decision.. what started off as an occasional smoke break at work has now become a full on addiction.

I always think about quitting but weirdly I find ways to convince myself it isn’t THAT bad.. and to be honest I’m now just super duper afraid of the side effects of quitting because I enjoy that ciggie so much haha

I suffer from anxiety and depression. The thought of the come downs really scare me. I worry about not being able to ease the stressful moments, or getting overtly stressed and irritated with work that people will hate working with me. I know this might sound superficial but I’m also worried about the weight gain. And also failing to quit altogether!

I didn’t think I would do it but tonight being around my friends that don’t smoke I felt so silly standing outside in the cold doing it. One made a comment about how much more I’m smoking too and that made me think of the wasted money.

So I came on here just to take a look and then I got pretty consumed and inspired by all the amazing stories of everyone that has overcome it.. so I’ve decided to give my first (hopefully only) quit smoking attempt 3 days from now.. not going to lie, totally petrified!

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4 Comments

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  • Red-67 April 24, 2020 | 4:04
    Hi, and welcome :)
    Hey, there is nothing to be afraid of. The worst you can do, is keep smoking, just as you have been right ? Your addiction to smoking, is probably feeding your anxiety and depression, and just making it worse. If you make the quit something you really want to do, it can be satisfying. You can accept the discomfort of withdrawal, without craving, or feeling deprived, or loosing control of your emotions, I was a blind, stupid smoker for 45+ years, and only tried to quit once, and my wife did not even know I had quit for nearly 3 weeks.. If you get your mind in the right place, and simply make a cigarette something you no longer want, it CAN be that easy. Over the next few days, don't let yourself just pull one and light up. Take a moment to just stop and LOOK at that little tube of tobacco, and ask yourself,, why do I want this ? For me, the answer was simple,, SMOKING MAKES YOU STUPID ! And that, is what made my quit easy :) Go for it.. Set yourself free. You are a slave to a little paper tube, full of tobacco. DUH ! You are an addict, addicted to smoking.. Let yourself admit this, and break away. It can be as easy as you make it :)
  • softly40, Mid North Coast April 24, 2020 | 9:15
    Welcome ashleebcd, From what i can gather in your post, you appear to be giving yourself a bit too hard a time and too much worry over everything, Ok you are feeling anxious which we all feel in some circumstances. I take a different approach then Red but the result is the same. I would most definitely Stop labelling yourself too much in the derogatory sense, eg: Addictive personality, and put the label on the cigarette and nicotine, or the manufacturer and the taxes that you pay for the privilege of destroying yourself in both mind and body. Your labels can be altered at any time, and can be positive ones to yourself mostly. Eg: I believe in myself

    Whatever approach you take, you will eventually need to overcome any of the emotional responses in regards to your work self and your body or weight gain. Tackle one problem at a time, with plenty of deep breathing, meditation and a plan which you can draw up yourself and follow religiously, Keep it in front of you every day, and alter or add to it as you go along.

    I would leave the weight gain alone for the first three months, then work on it then. Your initial plan can include exercising which should stand you in good stead at the 3 month mark, and will help with anxiety too. Your own Mantra will need to be worked on but the one that has worked for most of us is NOPE (not one puff ever) Good luck and keep in touch
  • Happiness April 24, 2020 | 13:37
    Hi April. Many have concerns and self doubt. Address them individually and have a plan. What can you eat without putting on weight"? What exercise can you enjoy doing to counter any weight gain as well as time spent on a good habit rather than a bad. Do not fear quitting but embrace it. Why do we fear doing something we want to do? Fear of the unknown? We , many of us have quit and would never go back. That is what we fear. We enjoy the freedom from being a slave to the timetable of the cigarette. We enjoy having money to spend on better things, having a healthier lifestyle and pride in knowing we have taken back control. There is no reason why you can't too.

    I urge you to think positive. Read and learn about you and nicotine whereever you can. Read Allan Carr's book which I can no longer link you to as this quitline feels it is a copyright issue. You can buy the book and save your money back in no time. He is great at explaining many things. You can also research online for natural foods to combat anxiety and depression. Stop reaching for excuses and find the DESIRE make positive changes. You CAN do it!
  • Aquarius May 03, 2020 | 2:13
    I always felt like I had a genuine "relationship" with cigarettes (I still feel that way 84 days in). I knew it was an unhealthy co-dependent relationship, but it was my choice to smoke. I felt lucky that I could afford the cost (financially and health wise, although I accept that I was probably just kidding myself, because I'm good at that).

    The simple fact is that I chose to smoke. And I also chose to quit. I'm not someone that always looks for the easy way out. So choosing to quit was a difficult choice I made for me, because I'm worth it!

    I have no doubt you are also strong enough to take control and do this for yourself. You just need to convince yourself that this what you really want. There is no room for hesitation and indecision. If you do want it, you will become as addicted to quitting as you became to smoking. You will see yourself as cleaner (no cigarette odours or smoker's breath), stronger and in control, and smarter, and you will feel justifiable pride in what you are doing!

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