Stories & experiences


Cravings hit me like a tidal wave

Posted in Quit experiences 28 Jan 2020

Yesterday I was cleaning out my utility room and found an old electronic cigarette. I am not sure how long it's been hidden in a cabinet but I found it. So there is a little push button on the side of it that I stupidly pushed to see if it still worked . Here is the part where I call myself a total idiot because I put this thing in my mouth and inhaled. In a few seconds I get an urge to smoke and a physical craving like a tidal wave. I haven't experienced anything like that since the early days of my quit almost 3 years ago. This certainly was a major warning. I am not sure whether this e-cig had any nicotine left in it and nicotine rush hit me or if my mind just played a trick on me. Nevertheless, based on this experience NOPE concept is reinforced once more - not one puff ever (e-cigs included). In order to get rid of the temptation I drove my 100 lbs dog to the dog park and walked in circles for about an hour. Everything seems to be back to normal now but a WOW moment was definitely there for a little while. Just a word of caution to everyone to be vigilant. Nicodemon is a sneaky creature. Cheers and stay smoke free.

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  • softly40, Mid North Coast January 28, 2020 | 9:00
    Hi there Safe, Glad you didn't shy away from letting us know of your awful experience, a lesson learned well. Bet your dog is confused. From one who has failed and tried again, I finally got the message to stay near this forum and develop a deep hatred for that Nicotine stick, then realized N.O.P.E (not one puff ever) was the best and final approach. No testing out this theory anymore its not worth it. Stay close and clean
  • Safe2017 January 28, 2020 | 9:03
    I am glad you learned your lesson too cause I surely did. It was a powerful reminder. But my dog was extremely happy. He loves it when I take him to the dog park.
  • Nuts January 28, 2020 | 9:40
    Well done for staying strong Safe2017. A lesson for everyone. That old nicotine monster is still lurking about. Trying to catch us out. That old e smoke must have tasted terrible. Thanks for sharing mate. Your story will keep us all on our toes. 🤗💕
  • Pisces24, Central Coast January 28, 2020 | 10:25
    It's a bit scary. Are we ever free? I'm so glad you were so strong.🐟
  • Lia January 28, 2020 | 12:29
    Hi Safe2017. A powerful reminder and wake up call that all it takes is ONE puff and we can be back where we started. Can't imagine having to relive that initial decision to quit. Better if it is a distant memory. It could take years to get the courage to quit again. Better not to go down that road. Hope the dog enjoyed the long walk and extra attention...
  • Happiness January 28, 2020 | 12:40
    im so glad that you were able to end it right there,safe. You are our mentor in the N.O.P.E. Department! I for one am taking your warnings seriously.
  • Safe2017 January 28, 2020 | 14:24
    Nuts - you are absolutely right. Have to be vigilant.
    Pisces24 - It was a shock. Although this monster craving lasted less than a minute but because it came out of nowhere it was scary with a lasting unpleasant moral feeling afterwards. We are free 99.99% of the time when cravings disappear and we tell ourselves that we are no longer smokers. It's the 0.01% one has to be on a lookout and crush it when it happens like in my case yesterday.
    Lia - you are 100% correct. That's how long it took me to gather enough strength to quit again after each failed quit. Plus or minus 10 years.
    Happiness and everyone else, thanks for your support. This is why I am still a member of this forum. From time to time we all need positive reinforcement and support. I know I do.

    Lastly, during my past two long lasting but failed quits I told myself that I was still a smoker who chose not to smoke. That was set up for a failure. I finally realized that. This time I view myself as a non-smoker. Period. About a year ago I wrote on this forum that I finally reached a point in my quit that I no longer understand why I wasted my money, my time and my health on this disgusting addiction. However, this little incident made me think of Sigmund Freud that nothing is forgotten and it's stored somewhere in your subconsciousness. Be vigilant. Cheers you all.

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