I still get thoughts of smoking. I have been quit for 21 weeks. I wake in the middle of the night still. For the first two months I was sleep deprived. I was determined not to pick up though. Every day I would get up from a broken nights sleep and pray. "Thank you God for giving enough sleep for this day." That's all I had. Just enough sleep for one day, with no reserve. "Please God give me more sleep tonight."
I think about cigarettes in the middle of the night. I think of the petrol station. I haven't been to the petrol station for smokes for over two years, so I think it's just some romantic notion. I wouldn't enjoy smoking now. My hands are still dry. The skin was spitting every day. I had a wheeze on my chest. My legs and feet were swollen. I had body odour. It was frightening. I don't want to go back to that and probably more.
I like my new life. I do a lot of mindfulness exercises. Like colouring-in. Deep breathing. Observing. Tai Chi movement. Sudoku.
Cooking. Keeping the kitchen clean. Washing my clothes. I am making some compost in my garden. My Husband has even bought me a garden pond
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