Stories & experiences


"Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing"

Posted in Hints and tips 31 Aug 2019

Part of my failure to launch stems from my irrational fears surrounding my ridiculous expectations of quitting. So by not taking action, I am actually choosing to stay in this cycle of self imposed torment. What fun! LOL. I am absolutely awful at tearing my self down when I am fighting with myself. And I am a very mean fighter. Thanks to some very kind members on this forum I have not been doing that as much. When I find myself heading in that direction, I literally just ignore those thoughts & redirect my brain. It isn't always easy, but it isn't as hard as I thought it would be either.

I often tell my middle child that complaining about something doesn't change anything & if he is so unhappy with whatever it is bothering him at the moment, he has to take action. Make a change, do something that makes a positive impact. So basically I give him advice that I, myself have failed to take. How very hypocritical of me.

It is almost 1:30a here (& I am very tired) but I am launching folks. I have a 3 day weekend ahead & I am gong to use those three days to get this final quit going. I am hopeful that I will be able to easily distract myself if necessary because I have no real plans on Saturday or Sunday. So here we go...

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  • Happiness August 31, 2019 | 22:53
    I think that you give the nicotine monster far too much credit. It may have been a sneaky devil and we may have to watch our backs in the future, but we know the enemy now, and we know that he can be defeated. In as little as 72 hours we can be rid of his residue. Thinking cannot hurt us, only taking action. Let the cravings go without dwelling on them, If you don't like something change it. While those urges may suggest that you want to smoke, let them also be a reminder that you are escaping its slavery. Change the action to a positive one, the thought will leave . Stop acknowledging it like you would a whining child tugging on your skirt. It can be irritating but it's insistence will wan. Be the boss.

    I know that you can do this Wendy, it is time, believe you can because you really can!
  • softly40, Mid North Coast September 01, 2019 | 8:11
    You are right themrsbear, our expectations are ridiculous, be ready to change, but do not overthink You are not dealing with a situation that you cannot control, you do have choices enjoy using those, instead of enjoying your self imposed procrastination, that's all it is. The main thing is, never look back you will begin to wonder what all the fuss was about.
  • Nuts September 01, 2019 | 8:54
    I think that you are still thinking ' I cant do it ' . If you change your mindset to ' I can do it ' it will become much easier.
  • themrsbeardsley01 September 01, 2019 | 10:27
    Thanks guys.
    Nuts, it is a constant mental fight with myself. "I can. I can't. I can. I can't" Until I wear myself out & cave. Like so many other attempts. I have not been able to find the mental trick to keep my perseverance & shut down those "I can't" moments. I know that trick is out there...I just gotta get it figured out. And the sad part is, those arguments are only a few moments of the day but somehow, the negative always outweighs the positive in my mental process (& I mean in all ways, not just this smoking thing).
  • Happiness September 01, 2019 | 15:37
    Like a momma bird who pushes the baby out of the nest...... there comes a time when you gotta fly.....
  • Nuts September 01, 2019 | 15:54
    Well said Happiness
  • Safe2017 September 02, 2019 | 7:39
    Look at it like being in an abusive relationship where you are the only one being abused. Smoking is like putting yourself into a personal prison. You can overcome the fear of losing your “best friend” because cigarettes are not your friend. Good luck and believe me you can!

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