Tomorrow marks my 2 and a half year cold turkey quit. I rarely log on the site anymore, but do log on to see a few individuals that are around the same quit period as me. Unfortunately, although it has been 2 and a half years, the nico-demon has made a reappearance. I have decided I will be reading Alan Carr's Easy Way to Quit again (I find his book invaluable as a tool to take away the negotiating power of the nico-demon!). I am confident I won't give in, but at the same time, find it frustrating that it has been close to a 1000 days and the nico-demon still has a presence. The strongest presence came in a dream the other night. It began with the thought process that I would steal a cigarette from a friend (I have strong values against stealing), and smoke just that one. In the dream, I was debating in my head and finally, decided to light the cigarette. The lighting of the cigarette was very vivid. I saw everything and it was a slow motion process. I immediately felt disappointed in myself BUT knew that wasn't my last one and already started justifying my next cigarette and that I would smoke only 1 a day! The power of the nico-demon is strong and the quit process is different for everyone I believe. I take the dream as a warning sign that I need to read the book again AND that having "just one" is not possible. I would return to a full time smoker in no time.
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