Hey fellow quitters! I’m checking in at 984 days. I’ve been having a bit of a rough go at it the last six weeks. I believe I wrote about being around a bunch of smokers for a week and how badly that made me want to smoke. But, I got over that - took a week of really being tempted but I got over it. This past three weeks, the urge has been back really bad - whereas I used to be able to go months without even thinking about a cigarette, I’ve been wanting one every day. I attribute this to two things: One, I have been watching older shows on TV and a lot of them have smoking in them. That can’t be helpful. The second is anxiety. Don’t ever discount anxiety. I’ve had a really tough time with my underlying illness and allergies and have just gone through a residential move. My anxiety is through the roof and just like back when I was a smoker, I want a cigarette to quell those anxious feelings. But, I don’t smoke because I never want to do my first week of quitting over again. I fight myself and sometimes I cry and I get good friends to tell me no. I take a benzodiazepine medication to deal with the anxiety. Once the anxiety is under control, the need to smoke goes back to almost non-existent. I suspect this won’t go on for too much longer. Aside from the medication that I am allowed to take, I am working on exposure therapy to get the anxiety back under control. I’m doing a lot of self talk too about what is reasonable when it come to being anxious.
Newbie quitters, don’t worry. I have been quit for over 32 months and at least 30 of them were fairly anxiety free and I had little to no urges at all. This is just a bump in the road and a reminder that we have to stay super vigilant.
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