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I first picked up a cigarette at 13. I am now going to be 25 at the end of the month and I realized that I never even gave myself a chance. I had my last cigarette this morning at 7:05 am (it's currently 11:39 am) and now I'm trying really really hard not to go out and buy a pack. With my father recently diagnosed with COPD (he also has emphysema) I've taken a step back and looked at myself. Do I want to end up down that road, terrified if I'm going to be able to breathe? We've all been short of breath for one reason or another.... would I want to live like that 24/7? I choose no. I am changing my routine and trying to find new friends to do new things with. My main trigger is being at work - since it's the off season where I work I have literally sat for a couple of weeks in silence watching grass grow.... All I want is a cigarette. But I have to quit, I need to quit. I want to smell better, I want better skin, I want more energy, I want to not feel so crappy all the time due to the amount of chemicals I've been willingly inhaling. I can almost HEAR that evil voice in the back of my mind telling me just one more.... one more and i'll be quiet... just one more.... But where does one more lead? Two more... three more....four more... Don't give in! I quit twice before, I can do it again. The only reason I started back up again was because of the people I chose to surround myself with. The time for change is now... I want my future child to remember me smelling fresh and clean, not doused with smoke and chemicals... I can do this.. I can do this. I CAN DO IT.
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