I will not crave what I do not want

Day 6- was admitted to hospital on September 9. The west coast of the US is on fire and it exasperated my COPD- my heart was impacted and I was put on oxygen, steroids, breathing treatments; remained in hospital for three days, missed classes, missed work. I refused patches-I am now on Day Six; drinking water, staying motivated by making lists of reasons to quit. I am playing my Ukulele and attempting to sing. Had to go home with oxygen and steroids; hope I don’t have to stay on oxygen. Feel ashamed of self.