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Share your burdens

Posted in Staying quit
By Cend
schedule 5 Feb 2020

Hmm, how do I start this.

I suppose just writing down how I’m feeling right now. Hopefully it’s therapeutic.

I’m 3 days in, with a slip up at work yesterday (day 2) when a co-worker offered me 1 at the end of the day. I snatched it without a second thought, and as I lit it I told him, I was trying to quit, and he ruined it. Fact is I sabotaged myself in not letting friends and co-workers know.

My first problem was thinking it wasn’t a big deal in me trying to quit. I’ve tried and failed before, many times, so why tell people?

Poor thinking on my part. The more people that know, the more people you will have encouraging you.

This morning I had others in the office ribbing me a little about quitting, guess the word spread quickly, but still got a few “good on you for trying”.

Chatted with another work colleague today too, hadn’t really seen him for a couple weeks as he was either busy at his desk or out on site. He tells me he quit just before Xmas and was avoiding me as he didn’t want to be tempted. Kind of hurt, but made complete sense; as the last 3 days I’d had lunch in my car instead of the office balcony, where the rest of the smokers were.

Anyway, hope my story helps others in some way, and hopefully I can stay quit, for one more day . . . and then another.

schedule 6 Feb 2020

i think that most people genuinely care for you and wish you the best so the more that know., the better. It also serves to make you more accountable and therefore committed. We here certainly wish you well even ones who have had difficulty can resent your success but also realise that persistence does pay off, and root for your success. Beware however of the smoker who has given up and is jealous enough to sabotage your quit. you are the courageous one and winner in the end.

By Lando
schedule 6 Feb 2020

Hello Cend, and Welcome.

I have made the same mistakes as you in the past, not telling anyone, in case I slipped up. That's just setting up an expectation to fail. I didn't make any grand gestures this time either, but I let my family know. They are my greatest motivators. As we have socialised with others, I have let them know as well. I hope to bring other mates to the quit table soon.

I never smoked at work. I would puff down as many as I could in on the drive to work, and make up for lost time when I got home, so I didn't have any dramas there.

Congratulations on making the effort. Keep going. The benefits are huge. But the little things matter as well. After brushing my teeth last night, I realised my tongue was coated with the white film I have been seeing for all of adult life. Went out to the loungeroom like Gene Simmons showing it to everyone.

By Lando
schedule 6 Feb 2020

That should say "WASN'T coated"

schedule 6 Feb 2020

I dont think its necessary to tell everyone of a Quit.

Others will find out in due coarse.

I believe that only family members need to be told'....even then its just down to personal choice.

schedule 6 Feb 2020

...........

When someone offers you a smoke, thats the perfect time to tell them.

I told the tobacconist yesterday. I didnt mind telling her either that she has just lost another loyal customer. And of coarse she understood, as she gave up 18 months ago.

schedule 6 Feb 2020

Bravo. When I quit I started by making a commitment to myself. I spoke aloud to hear myself say it, " I don't smoke." Hearing that myself reinforced what I was doing and I found that supportive and reassuring. Then after nine months I told people that I was a non-smoker. Once again I found this confirmed my efforts. Hearing my own voice made accepting my situation so much easier. I agree with you entirely in that saying things aloud helps you make a commitment.

By Cend
schedule 6 Feb 2020

Another day almost done.

Not too eventful. Only felt like half my teeth have been ground down to little nubs, and was snappy at co-workers and family half as much as I was on day 1.

However, my sleep the last few nights does not feel restful. I haven’t slept more than 6 hours a night for who know how many years. Since I started quitting, I’ve gone to bed an hour or 2 earlier, just minimising the time I can think about what I gave up. But waking up in the morning, I feel like I hardly slept though I don’t remember waking or being restless throughout the night.

Tomorrow, is just another day, and will be easier than today, as today was easier than yesterday.

And thank you everyone for feedback and support. I wasn’t expecting people to care enough to read my post, let alone comment so quickly.

By Larn
schedule 7 Feb 2020

Keep going! You are doing great. I tried to quit so many times and felt like a failure every time I took it up again but I never gave up on giving up and eventually I had what I needed to quit. Timing, goals, commitment, mentor are some.

schedule 7 Feb 2020

G'day Cend

like you, i'm 3 days in after 3 previous attempts. This time i've only told a few family members and a couple of friends. I think thats a personal decision that only you can make as everyones journey is different. I took a tip from one of this forums' members and bought Allan Carrs EasyWay to Stop Smoking. thoroughly recommend it. Congratulations! Keep strong mate

schedule 7 Feb 2020

to Cend. you speak of giving up something.where it really is more beneficial to acknowledge that it was a choice and that you will be gaining so much, Embrace the journey! Think in positive terms!

By Cend
schedule 7 Feb 2020

5 days in, doing okay.

Not looking forward to tomorrow night. Supposed to have a guys get together for a mates 44th birthday. Just a little bbq at his place. Known them all most of my life, however, 2 guys never smoked, 2 guys still smoke, 1 obnoxious reformed smoker. Haven’t told them I’m quitting (or have quit) yet. Hope I don’t crack, luckily I’ve never been a big drinker, so I won’t have that as an excuse.

By Lando
schedule 8 Feb 2020

Go in with the right mindset. Don't "hope" you won't have a smoke. KNOW you won't. Are you a non smoker?

By Cend
schedule 10 Feb 2020

Hey!

Sorry, been busy to check in.

Made it through Saturday night!

Funny thing is, the guys didn’t even notice, till I pointed it out when I was leaving for the night.

Day 8 clear and free ✅

schedule 11 Feb 2020

Excellent job Cend!

I noticed that before that most people are wrapped up in their own lives and often dont notice!

We Quit for ourselves and close family members and our Quit buddy's here too! Everybody else can please themselves.

Bring on DAY 9 for you

And

DAY 5 for me