I am struggling with this
Today is day 20 for me, cigarette free and I have been struggling all week? I have been so Damn angry and irrate all week, which is so not me and so unfamiliar too. I have P.T.S.D, which I have mentioned, so I have suffered with depression and anxiety ,for a long time now and so I've noticed that I tend to squash my feelings down, internalize them and then blame myself and make myself feel worthless and I would do this while puffing on a cigarette? So ,since I've stopped smoking I have been overwhelmed with all these feelings,that I am so uncomfortable with and I don't have the cigarettes to suppress em😠 so I have to deal with them because I don't want to bloody smoke anymore or ever again. I guess what I'm trying to say is it's not good to suppress how you feel all the time, your meant to feel emotions ,that's what makes us human and deal with them,then let them go! Not spend your whole life sucking em down with a cigarette. And this is what makes quitting so Damn hard,dealing with all this as well as cravings and addiction😱 Bloody he'll! Okay I needed to vent that, sorry if my language offends anyone,but that's how I feel. I can beat this addiction, I can do this, cigarettes have no positive benefit to my life at all, they are crap and they destroy my body. Amen xxx
Well done Miss Lizzy, you may be struggling but you are hanging in there. I don't know enough about what your going through P.T.S.D to be much help on that angle.
But for what it's worth breathing deeply in and out which is what we did when smoking, can help. Distraction is always good, today I'm 87 days smoke free and this has been a horrible day, all day and have been struggling mentally to not smoke, I know it's because I have been in pain for three days now and I'm looking for comfort, but I also know that smoking is not really going to help, so I continue my internal fight to remain smoke free. So good luck to you stay strong
offend me LOL gunna have to do better than that :)
you are right on track Miss Lizzy and have a good understanding of what's happening to you and why you/I/we smoked.
a lot of people cant stay quit because they don't know what's happening to them, seems you fully understand so yeah it doesn't feel good but your exactly where you are meant to be today in your quit journey.
for those of us with a few extra things to deal with it can be a bit more fun, but I recon most smokers have some PTSD or similar as to want to smoke and the effect smoking has its pain relief so??
anyway you are doing great keep up the good work and thanks for sharing as you all help me stay smoke free today couldn't do it without you any of you :)
thanks guys.
IC
Well done to you to storm, how is that when we hurt we think that by puffing on a smoke, it's gonna take all the pain away and make it all better? When in fact it is us that makes it better, cigarettes don't have that power ,it's just an illusion. You hang in there, and I will too and it will get better and tommorrow will be brighter😎
Bless you all. Wow, I was having a crappy day today too - mainly work related and I also didn't reach for a cigarette. Miss Lizzy, it sounds to me like you're wasted in whatever job you're in unless you're a psychologist. Having read your post, it sounds like you talked yourself right out of that PTSD/smoke moment. My goodness, you're brilliant. What an amazing person you are, did you realise you had that much strength? I bet you didn't but I'm wowed. I hadn't noticed any bad language, perhaps I'm as thick-skinned at IC :) or perhaps I use worse (note to self - check out what language I use).
Sending hugs to you, Storm, it's small comfort but comfort it is.
Hi miss Lizzy, absolutely not offended and vent all you like. You are doing wonderfully well, all things considered ......you should be very proud. To Storm and IC... really admiring you guys as well, your struggle seems to be much harder than mine, yet here you are doing so well too. Bravo to all of you :D
yes its true about breathing and quitting and ad the PTSD and on alert all the time it sets up shallow breathing to keep the intensity high for when the next bomb is going to drop,
so this sets up panic attacks etc... the fight flight response and then that sets up overloaded cortisol from adrenalin flowing more than what would be considered "normal" which causes all sorts of problems like chronic fatigue etc..
so yes there are some amino acids that can help remove the lactic acid build up in the muscles from constant cortisol production.
so yes breathing, exercise and supplements can all be very valuable tools.
thanks Flora and all you guys for just listening and sharing your stories and the support 74 days for me today with no nicotine and a whole pile of stuff to learn :)
well done everyone keep fighting the good fight !!
IC
Hi everyone, three weeks and one day cigarette free and still really struggling with my roller coaster of emotions? One minute so angry, I could kill someone the next I just want to burst in to tears? You are all right about P.T.S.D and what it does to your body, and basically for me it's the after effects of a lifetime of abuse and trauma, and your whole body freaks out just to cope and when the trauma is over, your body doesn't go back to normal, cause it doesn't realize it's over and because it was in such distress for so long? And this is what I have to live with at present and my head telling me today ,to just have a smoke and me answering it with, Why??? It's not gonna change a Damn thing? If I smoke, it's not gonna make my past go away or different, it's not gonna make the pain go away, it's not going to make my reality less painful or better, all it's gonna do is for a moment distract me from reality and make my future shit, because I won't be able to walk without gasping for breath, and I'll probably loose my teeth from smoking and there's a good chance I'll end up getting a cancer caused by smoking and after all the shit I've had to deal with in life, I don't want to deal with being I'll and sick from bloody cigarette smoking. I want a healthy body for my future and I don't want to be a smoker ever again, but god this is so hard! Please tell me this gets better and easier , I have to have hope that it does, just for today I will not pick up a cigarette. xxx miss lizzy
Hi everyone, three weeks and one day cigarette free and still really struggling with my roller coaster of emotions? One minute so angry, I could kill someone the next I just want to burst in to tears? You are all right about P.T.S.D and what it does to your body, and basically for me it's the after effects of a lifetime of abuse and trauma, and your whole body freaks out just to cope and when the trauma is over, your body doesn't go back to normal, cause it doesn't realize it's over and because it was in such distress for so long? And this is what I have to live with at present and my head telling me today ,to just have a smoke and me answering it with, Why??? It's not gonna change a Damn thing? If I smoke, it's not gonna make my past go away or different, it's not gonna make the pain go away, it's not going to make my reality less painful or better, all it's gonna do is for a moment distract me from reality and make my future hell, because I won't be able to walk without gasping for breath, and I'll probably loose my teeth from smoking and there's a good chance I'll end up getting a cancer caused by smoking and after all the pain I've had to deal with in life, I don't want to deal with being I'll and sick from bloody cigarette smoking. I want a healthy body for my future and I don't want to be a smoker ever again, but god this is so hard! Please tell me this gets better and easier , I have to have hope that it does, just for today I will not pick up a cigarette. xxx miss lizzy
Not sure if my last post worked as it got flagged for too strong language ha ha