Addictions... ain't pretty, a good reason for to stay quit

Ok folks I learned another valuable lesson (or at least reinforced a lesson, I'd maybe forgotten)... WARNING.. anyone of a sensitive disposition really should stop reading now!

Ok here goes, some of the people I work with (I don't mean my colleagues... or maybe I do!)... have issues with addictions and I'm fortunate enough (NOT) to have to pick up the pieces or at least try to sort out the bloody mess or even sometimes help them to find some dignity in death. This morning was one of those not so glorious occasions, not going to go into the gory details but let's just say I pride myself on having a strong stomach and I needed it this morning as I faced someone's recurring addiction destroying their life even further, this person had beaten their addiction 18 months earlier (and it wasn't cigarettes), but the indescribeable bloody mess I was faced with this morning didn't make me want to reach for a fag... far from it, it rammed home what I've seen a number of times.... doesn't matter what the addiction is, it does destroy you one way or another, if you quit then you stay quit, you wear whatever damage it did to you and you never ever go back, no matter how bad you think your life is, returning to smoking, drugs, alcohol... doesn''t matter, it's all going to f### you up if you let it.

Today made my mind up that I'd rather be a fat miserable bastard with no fingernails and even less sanity, sloshing around full of water and chowing down on fields full of celery than give in, and go back to smoking............ I mean that folks even though I'm still having cravings, think beyond the next five minutes........ nobody dies with dignity from any kind of poison.

Sorry if I offended anyone, I needed the proverbial kick in the bum that I got today and I shared it because today was another revelation that so far I've been too blind to see, it used to be walk away... have a fag and carry on............ how bloody blind have I been?