scared

I've had family and friends die from lung cancer and emphysema and I don't want to go through what they did; they all had long, slow painful deaths and it was heart breaking and terrifying watching them suffer.

After the funeral of my cousin a year ago about 90% of the mourners walked out of the service and lit up a smoke. I did the same thing but when I looked around and noticed all the smokers it just hit me like a punch in the gut how stupid and ridiculous we all were sucking away on these toxic things.

I've suffered from bronchitis and respiratory infections since I was a kid and, now that I'm older and have other health probs, I've noticed they are lasting longer and are more severe every winter. It's a horrible, scary feeling struggling for breath and coughing so much it hurts and I am terrified of ending up like that permanently. 

So adding in the huge cost and being treated like a social outcast when out in public to the above, I've had enough of the horrible things, I don't enjoy it anymore and I REALLY want to quit.