Time to go!

This would be my 'umpteenth' time I have quit...usually something very stressful happens in life & off I go to the cigarette shop for my comfort stick...my life long Friend!

I try not to punish myself for my weakness & just accept that 'when I'm ready', I will give it up again...when the storm passes! That way I find I can quit alot easier by getting rid of all the 'guilt' emotions that seem to be attached to it or that people attach to smokers! I promised myself I'd quit agn New Year & I was ready abt a week before! Didn't enjoy sitting out in the cold & the rain just to have a 'ciggie'...didn't enjoy the smell on my breath when I slept at night either. Nope...rather have something that tastes better but only problem is it causes a new problem that I find evn harder to beat...weight gain!!! Can't do the both yet...so guess its be a smoker or put on the weight! That for me is the problem...not quitting the cigarettes.  Also, I find that because I don't get a 'ciggie' break...I keep busy all day to the point of Exhaustion!!! I guess in time, I will learn to relax with a cuppa & not need the cigarette to sit still & relax!  It's not the cigarette I miss but the 'what to do with myself now' to relax that I battle. They were my silent friend in times of trouble that I depended on to have in my bag to feel 'secure' no matter what the day would bring. I wouldn't need to smoke them necessarily..just to know they were there. When the world was on my shoulders..it brought me peace & comfort to know my friend was always there! Strange huh! Letting go of that security & my life long friend is the hardest part...apart from the weight gain!:)