Denial

Reading everyone’s stories has prompted me to share mine..

I smoked on and off during the exciting ‘nineties’ at corporate functions/events as was the culture back then.

However, I could always just stop and it wasn’t a big deal.

Then when my own child became a teenager and began to smoke with all her friends, to fit in, so did I (so embarrassing for a middle aged woman) that’s how I started 6 years ago!

BUT I still (total denial) always thought of myself as a non smoker, it was just a fun thing I did.

Even going in for twice yearly surgical procedures where I had to declare how many cigs I consumed daily, I still thought of myself (imagine) as a non smoker!

My dog tried to tell me, my fingers were yellow and my breathing was ‘below par’ but still I thought I was a non smoker just indulging in a little fun.

Then, one day just recently, reality struck, when I bought my packet of cancer sticks and was happily inhaling 20 plus a day all by myself racing outside for a fix that I suddenly realised OMG I am a SMOKER!

I was ashamed, angry and disappointed.

So here I am, 2 days short of 5 weeks and I can breathe again, smell fresh air again and I am starting to feel a lot more like my old myself.

So everyone keep going, YOU are so worth fighting for.