Day 34 cold turkey

I'm 35. I started smoking when I was 11. When I smoked I always had a tight chest. I was smoking 30 cigarettes a day but in the end couldn't smoke a whole one as it irritated my lungs too much. Yet I'd still try to smoke 30. Not only did I have a cough, but my partner started to cough more.

I decided to give up cold turkey as I didnt see the point of taking nicotine to quit, when nicotine is the evil that causes the addiction. I firmly kept telling myself that the cravings are because of the nicotine I was having, so having nicotine is feeding the very monster which had been controlling my life.

Like what I expected, the first few days were a breeze, then the withdrawal started. However with me, instead of it lasting about a week, it just seemed to go on and on. There was not a definite day where I woke up and knew the worst was over. However after about 2 and a half weeks I did start having good days. Usually they would be followed by awful days unfortunately.

Around day 30, just a few days ago I realised that it is actually a little bit better than it was. It's less intense and more intermittent. Sometimes I forget I'm an ex smoker. Unfortunately when im angry or upset the cravings are worst. A little problem makes me overreact. I'm still a bit of a grump. I forget about my nicotine withdrawal and tend to misjudge how I'm going to react. Now I snap at people, but more often I swear loudly when I'm on my own. This makes me want to be on my own a lot. However if I talk about my feelings with others it helps them to go away and most people are forgiving and supportive.

If you ask me if I feel good, the answer is I feel fair to middling. I dont feel great, but I didn't always feel great when I smoked. I am still in the process of adapting to a smoke free life, so it can be a little tough at times. However if you ask me if I did the right thing, the answer is a resounding yes.