21 days no Cigs. Lots of Stress but I push forward
If you have followed my story , you know the story of my daughter. Well in my weakness I found her Instagram and poured my heart out to her. How much I love and miss her daily. My mistakes for being an addict and not realizing it sooner. How sorry I was and how badly I wish she would forgive me. Not in a million years expecting her to write back. ( Ive written a few times through many avenues with no word back) Well she did or at least someone did. It wasnt a good conversation a whole lot of I hate you Leave me alone. Your not my family and Id be better off if you died type of stuff. Well that as a mother clean and sober is very hard to take and work with. But its especially hard to not want the one thing thats always brought some relief. I struggled yesterday. With every ounce of strength I had in my body I made my way through 24 hours. Because thats all I can do. I took it an hour at a time just like the first day I quit. And before I knew it the day was over. Now I know that if I can survive that kind of heart ache and not smoke than I am very well on my way. I continue to pray that God will help me through this because I have alot of stress in my life right now. But one thing I know about my future is that cigs are not in it.
Well done to you on not lighting one up. I remember back about two years ago when i was attempting to quit smoking and I had some tough personal issues happening and I feel off the wagon. I was so very disappointed with myself and it made no difference to the situation. This was a very big learning curve for me, I learned that no matter what is happening, no matter how emotional I get, smoking is not going to change one single thing about it. What is, is. What I can do is control me and only me.
Cranky you always have the best advice. I do see it that way. I always end up singing Whatever will be will be whenever this stuff happens. Nothing in this world is in my control 100%. Ive learned to take the punches and keep moving. Cigarettes do nothingn but complicate things. And at this point Im really trying to avoid uneccesary spending.