At a cross road
Today I face a cross road. I'm sitting at 3 months smoke free.
I was on champix and finished the 1st pack, never started the second. I was getting very sick taking them and eventually forgot to take them so decided to just stop taking them.
I have been fine until now.
Now I feel very depressed, out burst of tears, yelling at my family etc.
I'm scared I will drive my husband away - mind you he is 100% behind me. He is a smoker and I feel he will give up when he is ready.
I gave up because I have been getting sick of it. I also want to be able to run without dying on the side of the road. I'm sick of being judged and I'm sick of smelling like smoke.
I'm proud of what I have achieved so far.. the real kick in the guts is, I actually miss not smoking. I miss the connection my husband and I had with our morning coffee together. I miss the sitting back after a long day just chilling having a smoke to finish the day etc.
I believe I may throw all this in so I can have my life back. Yes sure I can run faster and longer and love it but I also miss "ME"
Funny, holding back tears as I write this - Why ??, I have no idea.
I know its hard but just hang in there,you are still me just a non smoker me
Learn how to still hang out with hubby while having coffee and above all think of your health.
3 months is a great achievement,and though you will still get cravings the urge will pass and gradually it will get easier.
don't leave it too long as I did and end up with irreversible lung damage.
Hang in there Michelle and never give up giving up.
Thank you! Reading both comments and I couldn't agree more. Yesterday was a mentally bad day. I went for my run last night and ran so hard that it washed out my negative thoughts. Hubby is my support and right now I need him more then ever to keep pushing through this. some days I feel strong and think patches or meds are a joke and I can do without it. Days like yesterday prove I may need to buy some patches.
I will try the coffee tomorrow morning, outside in the freezing cold!!
Maybe I need a kick up the back side or a slap in the face to wake me up when I feel down...Good luck everyone - I will keep pushing through!
Hi Michelle,
Please don't give in because you've come so far. I'm around the same stage as you and it's okay to feel how you do. It's great that you used running to push the thoughts away!!
There still are good and bad days for myself and so many others also but we just have to embrace the good days and push through the bad days.
Quit.org.au have great tips on staying quit. Really worth checking out because I read all they had to advise and even when I was at the doctors surgery, picked up a pamphlet produced by them to help others either start the Quit process and helping then to remain quit.
One of their biggest messages is other people should not force their views or judge others because it's not helpful to the person.
For me, that was a great read.
Me too Michelle you have to be strong. You do not need cigarettes to make who you are. You are awesome without them. I too got sick of being sick from smokes. I'm 3 months in no longer coughing, can walk a couple miles now, breathing better, etc...etc... Get past those cravings and live your life like you want to. It will get better......promise.
Apparently tears and sadness can be part of the process of beating addiction...it's a grieving thing but it will pass just like even the most outrageously overwhelming cravings do pass...and return dammitt and then pass again. You really are an inspiration to me as I am scared that I will fail but determined to keep going to a healthier, richer future.