Big time slip up
Bad news.....I've been away from here for several weeks. I slipped up after 60 days of proudly being smoke free. Slowly getting back on track, but not there yet. Seems I have to start over. I thought I could do it without continuing with champix, I was wrong. Only took that one weak moment of simply wanting to enjoy a wine and a cigarette after a week of work, and even knowing in my mind it was a dumb thing to do, I still did it. Sure enough, as bad as it tasted I kept going and once again the old habit had a hold of me all over again....and I am sooo disappointed in myself. However, I'm not beating myself up over it because I know it's all a part of this journey I'm determined to continue on. I'm going to confessional (my Doctor) later today and requesting a new script for more champix as I've nearly finished what I still had. A new date has been set and I'll get back on the wagon. My daily checkins on this site will resume as I was a huge fan of the support and motivation it provides. I should've practised what I preach and reached out when I knew things were not going the way I wanted them to.
Oh don't be too hard on yourself, recognise it for what it is - a reminder that even one is one too many. Remember the gross taste and smell... maybe that will give you a kick along this time around :)
Yes, you are completely right Red. I know that, and what I need to do is stick with the course as it's intended. I doubt very much that I could go cold turkey. I thought I was ok without continuing the champix, but clearly I was wrong, even though I felt confident with my 60 day achievement. I wanted to be free of cigs and aids, but I was weak. I had the devil on one shoulder, and commonsense and willpower on the other. The devil won. I'm not making excuses but I live alone with my two lovely dogs for company, I rarely socialise these days, I need to work to survive even though I dislike my job most days due to boredom, my yard is getting harder to maintain as I get older, and my only vices are/were cigs and occasional bottle of wine or a stiff scotch. Just for once I wanted a cigarette with that end of the day drink, and now here I am back to the start. But....I felt so good without the cigs and I want that feeling back, so I'll start over and hopefully be stronger when temptation strikes as we all know it will. If anything, this setback shows me what can easily happen if I allow it to.
Hey Jude,
I think the biggest thing here is that you've
learnt what just having 1 can lead to.
I'm really glad you're not being too hard
on yourself and will be back on board
soon enough.
I remember your posts so I'm certain
you'll nail this and nail it well!!