Day 33 - a crappy day to remember
I thought having smoke free for 32 days will provide me a much lesser withdrawal effect. not until i woke up this morning, when a felt that i'am a horrible human being..having a short patience with my daughter and my wife. Feeling depressed, anxiety, alone, unhappy..Felt like im a completely different person, felt like a bi*ch to others, that i was not...
It came to my mind that if i smoke this feeling will be gone in just a matter of minute, nicotine demon at its best....but still trying to hold on, hope i can manage this horrific day....
near 12 months for me and quitting isn't really about not smoking its working out why I smoked and dealing with it.
needless to say it hasn't been easy and I have been a bit86ch too and then I have to look at why and what can I do.
wont go in to the whole story but a lot of it was being bashed by my parents as a kid and other assorted abuse.
nicotine hits the same spot in the brain as heroin and so has a numbing effect on emotions take it away and hang on right :) but I am sure it gets better so I wont smoke today work through my crap do my best to not take it out on anyone and heal my past so I can have a smoke free future.
IC
Hi Desert Fox..........look quitting smoking should actually lead to you gaining more friends and respect rather than having fall outs with existing friends and making things difficult for people nearest to you. Unfortunately when one quits a sense of pleasure does disappear and is replaced by sorrow, frustration and a sense of low state etc. But, even with help of nrt try to go through your daily procedures mentally excluding your smoking thoughts . Not easy i know but it does get easier day by day. You are still the same person , but you refrain from the cravings and eventually you do things without thinking that smoking will make it more pleasureable because in fact it DOES'NT. I smoked 52yrs been quit nearly 9mths and speak from experience. Believe me,it gets easier and you learn to live without smokes. Hope this helps. Cheers.