Milestones
I decided to share my story mostly as therapy for me I think although I'm sure someone else will benefit from it. 49 days ago I began my quit journey. I have tried so many times , some half heartedly and some with fierce determination , the longest time being 3 months.
Always the letting go was my problem , I clung to the mental aspects of the comfort it brought. When I was too cranky and people , family became upset with me I would tell myself better to smoke and be happy.
This time I prayed to take from me the desire to smoke and this time I didn't want to fail. Now I'm not overly religious but I do believe in God . Be that as it may I have been able to withstand the cravings.
Last weekend my partner of 3 years ended our relationship. I have owned and loved horses my whole life and for 27 years been breeding to a plan.
He wants it all gone and in a week I have sold most of my beloved Arabians for a pittance of their worth, lost the man I love, lost my home ( which is his) and been thrown into a despair I haven't felt since I lost my husband 18 years ago in an accident.
I thought about using this a a reason to smoke , why not doesn't matter anymore really...
I have been to the drs and received strong anti depressants . I need the strength to do what I must do.... I cry a lot but I haven't smoked.
Why? It's the only thing left in my life that is right thing to do. I pray again for the strength to continue my journey.
Hi Lizzie 1,
Hope we can get rid of Roy Jeff. I have reported him as a nuisance.
Anyhow, I was moved by the story you shared. No among of nicotine is going to lessen the pain. Keeping a clear head and an open mind, however, will allow you to pave a way to recover from your sadness. Cry as much as you need to as this is hugely therapeutic. Come back often as this site is sometimes better than any drug. Many here will have first hand knowledge and understanding of your situation, not to mention trying to give up the nicotine.
Hi Lizzie 1, Keep going with the quit. When everything appears to be falling apart you still can control this. give yourself time, cry as much as you need as all what has happened has been the same as a bereavement and will be a process. You have the determination to get through this and in time you will be ok and a non-smoker. We are all with you on this site.
Awwww Lizzie, that is a very sad post. I really feel for you, you are obviously a very strong lady to get through all of that without a dart. I'm sending you a huge hug and Lizzie you have strong faith and fierce determination so with these two things you are ready for the next chapter of your life. Take care and keep posting. Big hugs to you. we are here.xxxxx
Hi Lizzie,
I'm so sorry this has happened to you... We are on the same day (day 50 today) and I have been following your journey. September 27. The day you responded to one of my posts inspiring me NOT to get back on the merry-go-round. Now I hope to give you the same.
You have done so well and come so far. Even the fact that you consciously recognise that smoking a cigarette will not change what is happening in your life right now is a huge achievement in itself. I also must say that as a horsey person (who once had an anglo-arab) you have an inner strength that you probably didn't know you had until now - as this is what you need to ride these unpredictable crazy horses!!! (lol)
They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger... you keep your strength in your quit journey. Lean on us as you need. Keep strong. One day you'll look back on these events and smile at yourself for your own sheer determination and be proud. Your partner may have taken a lot from you, but honey - he can never take your determination and inner strength.
Lots of hugs xxx
Thank you all so much for your encouragement and support. What it has meant to me words could never express but know each and every one of you have made a difference.
Still hanging in there xxxx