The dreaded cigarette was calling

Well non smokers I have really been put to the test this week and surprisingly I have passed. And I don't say that lightly. I got a call Monday evening to say my 17 year old son had been in a car accident, he was the front passenger. Well, the first thing I did was panic, then I reach for my bag to get my smokes. What a shock it was to me to realise/remember that I didn't smoke. I craved one so badly because when in times of stress I smoke, I actually chain smoke. It'a been a long few days at the hospital and all the while my mind kept chanting at me - 'You need a smoke, you really need a smoke, Oh my God, this is terrible, you need a smoke'..... I didn't and haven't had one as this is a similar trap that I fell into last time, in saying that I still feel really edgy. My son is okay, a few broken bones, bruises and aching and a shattered wrist which needs surgery but he is alive and ok and I'm smoke free!.. I know that smoking wouldn't have changed the outcome but smoking is the fall back safety net that has helped me through stressful times and boy was it reminding me of that...

Day 34 down and feeling shaky but determined.

Keep smiling people and appreciate being alive and smoke free.