Slipped up
I haven't been on the site for a while but thought i'd share this with you all. I am 176 days smoke free and at the weekend whilst walking through the shopping centre I see a pack of cigs on the floor. where most people would probably carry on walking I divert to where they are and give the pack a little kick "just to see if its empty". It's not, it's unopened! I pick it up and then torture myself for the next hour until I went and smoked one. It don't stop there, I had another when I got home and the next day and this morning. I can't say I enjoyed any of them, I didn't need to smoke, they were there and I knew that unless I got rid of them I would smoke the whole packet just for the sake of doing so. I have now ripped up the remainder of the pack. So after 6 months I am still not safe and i'm extremely disappointed with myself. why didn't I ignore the stupid pack on the floor. I'll try not to beat myself up about it and carry on towards my full year. Good luck to everyone and just remember nicodemon is never far away waiting to test you. I failed the test!!!
Hi Gina, you never know how devious that craving will become. Fancy tossing a full pack of cigarettes into your path. Makes you wonder... Just treat it like a bit of a nightmare and get yourself back on the straight and narrow. You do not have to wind back the clock. Learn something about yourself and journey on. By all means, let others know of your erring. That will be a good reminder for us all that it is so easy to go backwards.
What a terrible situation! That is like the ultimate test... I'm sorry to hear you had a slip up but all you can do is keep charging ahead. Six months is fantastic and you've come this far, don't turn back now!
You are right, it is a slip up, and a minor one only, look at the positives, you were honest with us and yourself, you only smoked a couple and then discarded them, you could have kept it to yourself and smoked all of them-and then bought more. After reading your post I had a think about what I would have done in the same situation, would love to be able to honestly say I would have left them there and walked on, but I think I prob would have done the same as you. Cos wow what a windfall, almost a miracle really, like an unopened bottle of plonk for an alcoholic. I really love your honesty and now time to pick yourself up from stumble and keep going. You can do it big hugs, perhaps just forget about that fateful day and pretend it didn't happen lol.
It certainly is so tempting to pick it up I too myself often see packs of cigarettes lying around in the street and 5 times out of 10 will see if there are any left.
140 days for me and I still think having a smoke would be good idea and it doesn't seem to go away but I don't have one cause it will kill me, but totally understand how that happened.
hope you are smoke free today.
IC
Smoke free again I am pleased to say. It's funny I don't crave them anymore I just fancied one. I didn't enjoy any of them but I think I took a huge risk that could have ended up having a rather different result. My next test is next week as I am going on holiday!! Alcohol and no ciggies whilst sat doing nothing on the beach. Maybe I should take some knitting with me lol.
Hi Gina A, glad to hear you are back travelling well, it is funny how easily we can go back,
I am on 166 days and I still carry my last packet of cigarettes somehow it helps me, but I would imagine they would taste like sh-t they would be so stale