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Day one again - total failure

Today is the first day of the rest of my life (again). I had quit for 15 days, then succumbed to stress and (punished myself?) consoled myself by smoking. To tell the truth, it was difficult to get going again as I was quite sick, but managed to get back into it again the next day.
I really don't want to be doing this (quitting and smoking) for the rest of my life, so here goes again today. Will go for a run on my way home from work tonight, eat then go to bed and read a book.
I will make a list of distractions that I can refer to when I feel like smoking, even if the distraction is just 'tidy up fingernails', it is a positive achievement rather than the negative of smoking. I'm going to spend some time meditating about what it will feel like to not some again ever. Thinking about not smoking ever again makes my stomach do flip flops. Taking one day at a time is good, but I also need to look at the future as a non smoker, so that I can't use any excuse to start again.
I think I must be nuts to have such a strong dependency on tobacco.

takes as long as it takes no one here to judge you just say we understand its not easy and we are here and saying you can do it :)
IC

I was supposed to quit this morning, I have had only 6 rather than my usual 15 by now, I would love to go through the journey with someone. I have one cigarette left in my packet and I am done

you can do it :) sure there are others more down the rd that can help but i can if you wish only 20 days for me?
IC

Wee willem. I am no expert, but just to share. Quit dates, giving up forever was so very scary I didn't do it. Take it one day, one hour, at a time. Then it is not so scary. The hours will become days etc.
You are not nuts. We have all been there. Keep posting. That is the most important thing I have learned from this site. To keep up the dialogue that we can do this. Read all the posts from all the stayers. There will be a key for you that unlocks you from the smokes. Good luck and best wishes.

Wee Willem, don't be too hard on yourself it will only make it harder to succeed. I for one can't look further than one or two days ahead, even after 35 days without a cigarette if I start thinking about the possibility of what the future

For heaven's sake, don't be hard on yourself. My view is that even having a serious intention to quit is a psychological challenge and it takes time. Coming to this site and reporting your lapses is just great - it shows you are motivated to stop and are honest. The easy thing to do would be not to post.
My new form of relaxation (added to walking, dvds, reading and, let's face it, lollies0 is jigsaws. They are amazing - they take time and they take concentration and before you know it hours have gone by and you have been relaxed for those hours, with only a tincy pain in the lower back to remind you that you have virtually stood still for hours.
Goos luck and keep on posting.