All kinds of Dreams
Today I am on day 51 without a cigarette and I am glad I have not smoked for this time. I drank too much booze a few days ago and lost control a bit and feel fragile now.
I am feeling guilty at the moment because sometimes I do things I regret (don't we all?) when I drink but I am happy I can breathe and am not smoking a pack of cigarettes in the hope that nicotene will cure my guilty feelings. What lies I have told myself in the past, thinking that smoking will solve or make my problems better!
I'm wondering after qutting fags I might want to quit other things e.g. booze. Haha! I don't think I'd be the only one thinking this way.
yeah one addiction doesn't cancel out the other one :)
so yeah drinking to much isn't a good thing either from my experience , but we are dealing with smoking here and bit like drinking its the 1st one that does the damage. I don't take that 1st puff I wont set off the physical craving, and have a pile of shame to go with it from having a smoke which then makes me feel sorry for myself and so I have another smoke.
or something like that :)
so well done on being smoke free.
IC
IC
IC is right about the pile of shame which makes us feel sorry for ourselves so that we have another smoke or another thing we are addicted to.
Let me pause for a second and think about what has gone through my mind in the past.
Here is my old thinking -
Oh, I've smoked for so long already, that it does not really matter if I continue to smoke. I've probably done enough damage anyway, so whats the difference? I might as well go on feeling bad about things because nothing is ever going to get better. Yeh, lets have a cigarette now - poor me!
Here is my new thinking -
I've given up for X days already, that is does matter. As I continue not to smoke I feel some recovery is taking place and its making a significant difference in my life. I must keep believing that things will get better and even if I don't have faith for that, I must believe that NOT taking a cigarette is a good step which shows me and everyone else that I am trying to work on something which is good in every way, not just for myself but for others who will see that I have given up smoking. I will be an example to others who want to give up smoking by not smoking. I am a positive influence by thinking this way. I will allow myself to feel sorry for myself for only brief moments and then pinch myself and say " Hey, you can't wallow in self pity forever and smoking is definitely not going to solve anything!"