Respecting myself, loving myself enough to have the determination and WONT power

A conversation between my beautiful Paul and myself a while ago resulted in my decision to give up 'the fairys' as I refer to cigarettes not anything else derogatory towards same sex relationships was very productive. Paul was saying that this is my decision to give the fairys up. He said that he is proud of me to work hard at it and to keep on believing that there will be a good result in the end. Because I have been feeling so good about my decision I thought I would share it with you.

Firstly I am a reformed smoker of some years ago and I was with a man who smoked all over me so I jokingly stated it was his fault for me restarting the fairys. It was not it was my decision to smoke, just like it is my decision to quite. I decided to start to stop smoking 28 March so far I have bought some chewing gum to replace the fairys and I don't like the taste so I decided to keep going with it. This chewing gum is a classic taste and it does not taste good however I have researched the chewing gum and found there are other nicer tasting gums. This will make it easier to swap the fairys for the chewing gum because I love menthol. In this few days I have talked to many smokers who have seen that I have bought smokes and have noticed that I stop smoking and I believe it's due to my guilty feelings I have for having a fairy. I kind of believe that I am not honestly giving it the best shot, that I am betraying my word that I said to my Paul and that I am only letting myself down: upshot I feel guilty for smoking now.

I love my fairys but love myself more. I feel good about my guilt and my guilt helps me to stop smoking so I keep battling the cravings with those horrible tasting classic chewing gums and when that packet runs out I will go fet a nicer tasting chewing gum.

I will keep you posted on my endless endeavours to quit the fairys