Time to ditch the ball and chain..........

I'm sure I can speak for alot of us traveling this road that Quiting is painful, stressful, and quite honestly, some thing that we all dred. I been given a script for champix by the doc in Jan, and only last weeked I started.

First day, well, I felt aweful. I felt like I was going to throw up all day, even to the point that I stuck my finger down my tube, in a vaigue attempt to feel better. I failed very badly there. Still smoking and wondering if this will actually work? Oh well, I'll park on th couch and wait for this to pass. Bring on tomorrow.

Day 2: Woke up feeling rather good, no funky dreams. Took my little pill and felt great all day. My wife ended up in hospital that night (long story), and we had to return the next day.Midnight by the time we got home, with no answers. Kids where snoozing in the car, oh to be that young again.

Day 3: Dropped the other half at the hsopital and went to work. felt fine all day. no issues. Later that day, the doctors told my wife would have to stay in hospital till they could arrange the operation for her. Great, My support gone, and had become a single parent to twin 4 yo boys. Oh what fun this will be. I didn't feel the panic that I normally would. Even this would stress me enough to want to smoke. Whats going on?? Start the double dose tomorrow, this'll be interesting.

Day 4: Took my pill, then the morning rush to get the kids to school, off to work and within minutes the boss down my neck. Passive aggressive cow. She tried baiting me to argue with her and spit it. Didn't happen. If there is one weakness, this is it. Anyway, remembered the to pick the kids up, and got everyone sorted. Night time pill. wow 4 days already. I started noticing that a pack of 30 is lasting longer than normal. Hmmn maybe, this will work.

Day 5: WOW what a night. Had the most vivid dream I ran over my boss in the work 4x4. Wow, felt so real. That was scary I tell you. I don't normally dream but this felt real. Well that was over time for another pill, get the kids moving and out the door. Day off today and the next two. Wife in for surgery. Do house work and collect the kids, feed, bath, and bed. Night time pill and wondering what kind of dream will happen tonight. Had a pack of 30 for 3 days now, wow PB right there.

Day 6: No dream last night, thank god. Took my little pill. kids out the door. Went to pick the wife up today. Can't focus on driving. Nearlly even crashed the car. THIS is not normal for me. Normally I'm focused, just can't. Get to the hospital collect the other half and take her home nice and slow. Had to pick up another pack today. I tried, I really did, I got so angry today. I tried to just get away from it but, I couldn't. I walked to the shop to calm down, got and Iced coffee and just sat. Shakes came in, really hard, then it happened pack of 30's in my hand before I knew what had happened. Had one on the walk home. Then something really happened, they tasted aweful. I couldn't even finish it. Gross, I'd been sucking these down for years??? Idiot. Collect the kids feed, bed and bath. had another one. It didn't feel right. Took my pill and went to bed. Enough already.

Day 7: Well thank god its saturday. Mozy out of bed, then bamm. Kids have an appointment. Throw the pill down, feed and dress everyone, out the door. Panic. half way there wheres my durries? I don't have em'. This'll be interesting! breathe......... 4 hours later I'm home, nothing. Kids where great, no stress, no panicing, no urge to smoke. I feel great, I dont feel like I'm gonna splinter at any one. played with the kids all day, and had a blast. Made a great meal and had my night pill. threw the kids in bed, and then with out realising, I was smoking out in the shed. Nearly a smoke free day. Ah well there always tomorrow.

Day 8: No rest here kids up at 6. Better get up and get moving. made breaky and had my pill. still haven't had too many dreams since the first one. Day rolled by, 12:45 and then I realised, I haven't had a smoke yet. Nice!! Kids tearing the house apart, wife whinging, out to the shed and it happens. I'm smoking outisde in the yard. The worst is yet to come, The after taste kick in, foul is the politest way I can put it. I've never tasted something so aweful. Still have half a deck left, and probably won't need it either. Its wierd, This has all happened with out even noticing, no withdrawl, no agression, nothing, not even a cold sweat.

I've tried several times to give up and have tried Cold Turkey, NRT, and hypnosis. Failled at all. This time, I'm positive It'll happen with me even noticing. It'd be nice if it did.

If you thinking of quiting, I feel I must point something out. Champix is working for me. I think its great so far. If you try NRT (gum or patches) do not wear the patches at the gym. I nearly put my self in hospital doing that. Best way to give yourself a heart attack. Please, Just don't do it.

Well, Tomorrow is day 9 for me. I'm not believing that I'll quit over night, but It's happening. Finally. I just don't feel the need anymore. I've never felt better. Ever. I must admit, these past few days, have been so stressfull for me. I've never would never have tried to quit whilst all this had been happening before. But once the other half is better, and the smoking stops, its gonna be great.

Thank you all who read this. I've read so many stories, and they helped me. I hope this helps someone out there. You can quit too!! Good luck to you all!