The tepid turkey - continue

The next couple of days passed in a haze of craving for a cigarette. Actually craving does not quite describe it. Longing, yearning, wanting with every little inch of me is more like it. At least once per minute, thinking, “I wish I could have a cigarette”. I was wearing patches (2 of them), had a mist spray of nicotine which made me hiccup terribly. I took more nicotine than I ever had before in the hope of wanting to stop wanting.

Jiminy was telling me in turn, “Well done”, and “Stop being so melodramatic!”. He was getting on my nerves.

But then everyone and everything was getting on my nerves. My students tip-toed around me.  I overheard the words “dangerous”, “possibly homicidal”, but let’s not get paranoid.

The worst were the nightmares at night. So vivid and scary. In one of them I was swimming in a pond and saw two idiots jumping from  an helicopter (for sport) aiming for the pond. One fell in the pond, the other crashed on the ground. The other one was me.

As much as I wanted to blame someone, anyone for my state of being, it was not the turkey. She was preening herself on my shoulder, looking content. She’d make light conversation, what you would expect  from a gentle turkey with a stutter. “Oh look, Beth is going for a cigarette, cigarette, cigarette.” Or “10.30!, ciggie, ciggie, ciggie  break. Oops I meant morning tea time.”

A dark cloud of despondency had descended over me.

The turkey then said. “All you need is one little cigarette. Just one! It won’t kill you”. “You are right, Wise Turkey” said I “All I need is one”. It was such a good, logical and pleasant idea,  the turkey and I were quite elated, and started singing “All you need is one” to the tune of the Beetles “All you need is love”.

Since all we needed was one, it made sense to find the  hidden box of tobacco in Daughter’s bedroom . Stealth was required for this mission so the turkey and I stopped singing.

That’s when I heard Jiminy. He was screaming. “Don’t do it! Don’t, or you’ll never stop. Get rid of the Turkey, too. She is not your friend.” The turkey turned viciously on him “Shut up Cricket!” jumped on his chest, bound him, and after I handed her a sock, gagged him.

After looking in every nook and crany of my daughter bedroom, I did find the tobacco and had a cigarette. I felt like Heaven!  I was mellow and sweet and loving after that. I freed Jiminy, apologise profusely, said it would never happen again. “All I needed was one!” He looked at me sadly, and with a knowing look, curled up on my shoulder, and went to sleep.

To be continued….

Next to come, “The Turkey’s  evil plans. “Just one” was just a lie. Jiminy threatens to move to New Zealand….”