I was only kidding myself

I always classified myself as a smoker.  I thought I was a social smoker at worse and that I could have a few when I was out and that was it.  But then I found myself sneaking one after lunch and or drinking more often to have a ciggie and even though I was wheezing from smoking, I continued to delude myself that I wasn't a smoker - so it left me either anxious and restless (because I was denying myself nicotine) or smoking and wheezing.  So now I've decided the easier path is simply not smoke all the time, rather than not smoke some of the time.  It's only Day 2 and there's going to be a lot of triggers (ie drinking) - but I'm going to focus on my family and health and breathing to get me through.