Help Needed
Hi
My name is Jade and I have given up smoking for 4 months now – I was doing really well until my boyfriend, who I live with, has started having the odd smoke here and there which unfortunately is increasing every day. I can’t even express how mad it has made me feel – I am so angry that he is smoking when I am still trying so hard to quit! I have explained this to him and have asked him for his support but unfortunately he is not doing so well and I don’t know how to help him anymore when I don’t think he wants to help himself. I feel as though I have fallen backing into that angry emotional crazy person I felt like in the first 3 weeks of giving up! Has this happened to anyone else? Can anyone suggest anything I can do to keep my concentration on myself only?? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and keep up the good work!!
You are certainly in a difficult situation... Things that may help you keep focused and stay quit:
* You can use your strength of staying quit to inspire him to do the same (just as the people on this site inspire me to keep going)
* How much $$ have you saved in those 4 months?? Count it up and ask yourself if you want to part with that money every week
* Keep thinking of how utterly horrible it was to quit in the early stages - if you start smoking again, at some point you are going to have to go through that pain ALL OVER AGAIN (Ouch!)
*Remind yourself of the reasons you quit in the first place - write it up on your fridge if you have to keep them clear in your mind
*Dont allow yourself to make excuses (all smokers are guilty of it unfortunately). His weakness doesn't have to mean yours, you are your own person responsible for your own actions
*Remember that tomorrow is a new day
Anyways i hope it helped in some way and i hope you stay strong - you have come so far!! I can only dream of 4 months at this point.. Lol
Oh i also think Ican had a great point - try and find a compromise if he is going to continue to smoke not to do it in your face, find somewhere else for him to puff..
Stay strong and true to yourself. Goodluck!!
Jade, does the boyfriend smoke inside the building ?
If so , maybe suggest to him that you would really appreciate it if he went outside when he feels the craving.
No one smokes in my house since I have quit and any smoking visitor appreciates that they can smoke if they go outside - I even only have (nice clean) ashtrays outside for them.
If your boyfriend refuses to agree to that, well it is time to replace him.