Day 6

Well thank you to those folks that have posted to my last rant (yesterday) around hanging in there and all the wishes for my dad.  It was so encouraging and kind of humbling (in a nice way).

Sadly at the hospital this morning we found out that dad's 're-start' of the heart is not happening today, they need to do some exploratory surgery as worried about clots, that is planned for tomorrow and if all good - then electric shock to restart his heart into hopefully a correct rythmn.

So, after finding out that really it was pointless for me sitting around the hospital all day with my mum and walking to the train station to come to work I seemed to be surrounded by people and all things smoke related assualting me!  Smells, people smoking, two tobaccocanist shops (where did they come from since last week)?  A crossword puzzle with the answer Cheerot!  EVERYWHERE I looked I was feeling tempted, cajoled, coerced into thinking well they are everywhere just have one.

I made it too work, without giving in and actually today despite my stress and I must say completely hideous, snappy personality have not been too bad.  I think the test will come this evening what with mum at the hospital (staying with me while dad is in hospital) and partner visiting a friend for the evening, (I think to get away from cranky me) and actually having some down time and probably a beer it will be a touogh evening.  Must remember I can do it and must remember that I am not alone in my 'post nicotine madness'.

I must get to Day 7!!!!!

Cheers, W