Day 8 and isn't it great and then Day 9 is Blah!

This is what i wrote last night:

I play oz tag tonight. I havent played in one whole year see I got sick my chest became tight, I suffer from asthma and it was playing up it was too uncomfortable for my body I struggled to breath in and out. So I sat at home and smoked. I miised playing the game, I've played since I was 12, I represented my town and state. I played 3 games a week until I had my son and slowly my life was put on hold, everything I done was for him my whole life revolved around my hubsnad and son. Slowly the games went form 3 to 1 and then it was every second season because winter was too cold my breathing was worse then. Now its my life and I'm living it I am doing things for me because I am worth it!! I am no good to my family if I am not 100% at my healthiest. I AM WORTH IT!!

This is how i feel this morning:

I want a smoke, i want a smoke, i want a smoke, i want a smoke. I want to go outside and suck that dirty dirty crap into my lungs. And then i think NO! Why? What do i get out of it other then a death sentence? NO i have come to far... Today is the start of day 9 i cant, i wont go back!!