2 weeks today

Hey everybody, 

hope everyone  is doing well on quitting smoking. I am two weeks smoke free. It is amazing sometimes I forget. I am using Champix , they are helping . I forgot to take it a few mornings last week and the week before going to work. I did okay and was okay  without them. I still get the cravings , which I have to say have been intense.

I also have been quiet emotional too. I just put it all down to frustration, and also the realisation of this massive change I am going through. Learning how many triggers I have. Learning how much those beggars controlled me. I am tuned in alot to what is going on with myself which is a good thing. I suppose, I tend to be hard on myself, so I am learning to be more chilled without smoking , learning to  trust myself more .

I was thinking the other day and remembering the time that I started smoking, what was going on for me at the time ,I was a teen, 16, dealing with bullying from first boyfriend,  struggling to be oneself , to find oneself. It became a crutch to hold onto, one that would not leave, be there for me all the time. That was how the attachment develepod.It was the same for me smoking cannabis and taking ectasy, give me something to hide behind I don't do that now that was over ten years ago. The cig's is the last substance to go. If I could go back to myself at 16 I tell her to never smoke, I tell her to excercise, and be strong . I tell her she is worth more. I cannot go back all I can do is focus on today , change that be her today.  I think I am learning to outgrow this attachment and embrace health.  Taking responsibilty for my health and my future. I am so glad that I have gotten so far, no regrets just glad to be turning a corner and making a healthy life choice, you only get one.

Thank you again to everybody for the support here so far, I find talking and venting and helping others , it  really helps. It pushes you further down the path to quitting.  Yesterday I was boarding a train , and a man stopped me and asked me for a spare cigertette , I just smiled and said ' sorry I don't smoke'..... I felt so proud for saying that. So thanks again, and hope everybody is doing well .