guilty secret

I havent smoked for  over a year and a half. Smoked since i waz a kid , 9 yo. Been over 30 years.  I am scared to admit that I dont smoke coz the demon will come up behind me when i least expect it.  Im heading Overseas ($ saved coz i quit) just dont wanna feel tempted,  scared or alone. Gunna have a good time. Quit for Life!