Where's your heart at?

Hi,

Firstly, I'm just so happy to have found a site where us smokers/quiters can access to read about others experiences/feelings and vice versa. I have enjoyed reading the stories, feedback and feeling the support. This will help me to be on my way to a smoke free life.

I am 22 years of age but started smoking about a pack of 25 cigarettes a day since the age of about 14 and a half years old. I know this sounds terribly young for such a heavy smoker but I want to express my honesty.

Both my parents quit smoking when I was in Primary School but my mother took it back up when I entered High School and still continues till this day. I still live with my mother and know it does make it harder to quit because I feel as if I need to go outside with her to have a smoke by her side. (Learnt in previous attempt).

This aside, I have a beautiful daughter and she is one of my main reasons for wanting and needing to quit. I want to spend as much time on earth as I can with her and want to be a positive role model. Other reasons are for my health, fitness, life expectancy and money expenses.....actually the list goes on.

I don't use any other form of drugs and drink alcohol on a rare occassion. Smoking has for a long time, been such a priority and time consuming addiction in my life. I think the hardest part for me to stay off the cigarettes, is that I find I have made it an excuse, a comfort, a social tool, a habit, confidence tool and a way of life really.

I have been thinking about quitting smoking since about 2007 and have attempted quite a few times to quit. The thing I lack when I'm off the cigarettes, is my self-confidence. I become scared. I'm frightened of the symptoms (anger etc) as I've experienced it before and was scared of becoming that different person again. I know in my heart and mind that I do want to quit and that I'm ready.

I have noticed a horrible change in my health as well. I've put on allot of weight, I snore, I huff and puff walking up stairs and going for a run, when sick with the cold I have a horrible cough and wheeze (asthma comes out), I cough fequently even when I'm not sick and it's usually to get flem up and out, a bit of my gums have discoloured (black markings), breath has an odour, skin breakouts........All at 22 years of age. Imagine if it continued!

Now if this doesn't give me enough willpower to quit then I know what will! And that would be the great support from you guys out there who understand what I am going through.

I am getting starting with my quitting experience. I have decided to go cold turkey but if need be I will buy some gum to help with cravings. I will be starting on Thursday the 9/02/12.

Thank you so much!