Reflections as Day 40 Looms

Hi All

Well, you can blame Tiger for making me be all reflective and end up poosting after she wrote about Day 50 and being so thankful to everryone here.  I too am thankful more than I think words can possibly express.  To be honest at the start I am not sure, I would get anywhere near 4 hours let alone 40 days.

My resolve is so much stronger now, and I actually believe I am going to make it.  There will be times (like last Saturday morning - still not sure where that came from), where I will get a solid reminder that I am a smoker that chooses not to smoke.  But that is ok. 

So in my reflecting mood I went over some of my earlier posts (11 of them, gee I rave on a lot).  Here are some of the things that made me laugh (although at the time I did not think they were funny):

• smokers everywhere I look
• tobacconist shops appearing in the street
• constantly wanting a smoke
• yelling at the shopkeeper for giving me my bus ticket and a pack of smokes
• dreaming I smoked and then waking up thinking I might as well have one

What a ride.  And through the begining of it all was dad in Intensive Care post a triple by-pass then waiting for him to have a further operation to have his heart stopped and re-started, mum staying due to dad being in hospital in Sydney and and and.............

What on earth was I thinking deciding to quit cold turkey with so much going on?  I was thinking it will never be a good time and now is a good as time as any and if you can do it now you should be able to stay quit.

Funny, some friends that do smoke have said, I don't know how you have done it.  I will stop after a holiday (holiday finished), I might as well wait til after Christmas.  Me thinking you know what you are not going to stop.  I could hear myself from a year ago - always an excuse to 'put off' quitting.

My words of non wisdom to all you good folk here is I think it's a real mind set thing.  If you really do want to stay quit it is not easy but you will not smoke.  It will continue to be a struggle for a while I guess but we just need to continue to choose to not smoke.

And there is my day 39 - staring at day 40 reflections.  We all rock!  And I think the cancer council deserves a big tick for creating this site, it has been my 'sanity' over the rollercoaster ride that is quitting.

Cheers everyone, Winner