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Hopefully the last try

I am 23 years old and I started smoking when I was 19. I never expected to be a "smoker." When I started college I took a lot of pride in the fact that I didn't smoke. Unfortunately, I ended up being around people who smoked often, and even people that would buy cigarettes for me when I was trying to quit. I certainly don't blame those people, but I do regret letting others decide the course of my life. I have been trying to quit on and off for a couple of years. Recently I thought I had finally found the reason that would stick. I have found that I really enjoy running. It has become an integral part of my life, and when I'm smoking cigarettes AND running, I can feel how much it effects my body. For a couple of weeks I completely dropped cigarettes. I decided that running was more important to me, but I fell back again. I am really tied to the person that I am when I'm smoking cigarettes. I like being perceived as a rebellious young woman, but I also want to be the person that works hard on themselves to be healthy and happy. I want to go out and smoke a cigarette with my friends and share those moments, but I also want to encourage the people in my life to quit something that is destroying their bodies. I am struggling, and I hope that being able to talk to you all and really focus on this issue in my life will finally bring an end to it. Thanks for reading!

I bet your friends didn't set out to be smokrers any more than you did. Nicotine is an addictive drug. Your friends also started by wanting to fit in and are probably wishing they could quit. It took me 40 years to find out that we are capable of breaking free and stop deluding ourselves that we like the taste or that it did something for us. We accepted our fate. You do not have to.
Set the new standards. Be healthy and free and richer in so many ways! If only we could go back in time.......

Welcome Alanasea, Ah! you are young and yes tied to your image, which in my day was the same, we thought we were emancipated because we smoked, it was a symbol of being a rebellious young woman.
Firstly it is great that you recognise this, a sense of self is so important, and now you have found running which is an activity that you enjoy.
The key in your case is to find out what makes you angry, there is nothing fulfilling about a rebel with no cause. Note down the problems that are keeping you tied to this product. Nicotine is one, another one could be the Manufacturers and the list goes on. It is an addictive drug whichever way you look at it and for some is not easy to let go.
You can work on your own sense of self by viewing the video "How to grow to be a happy Non Smoker" you will identify a few things which resonate with you. Presented by NASIO DAVOS of TEDxUniversityofPiraeus. there are a few videos who recognise that stopping smoking could have an emotional relationship. It is also recognised as a need for pleasure and needs a reward other than a cigarette.
While you are researching these things practice every day without fail NOPE (not one puff ever) you can make this your own belief whatever words you use but it needs to be thought of as final. I use this every day even now.

Hi Alanasea,
An old cliche “if I could do it, anyone can do it” is true. After 30+ years of smoking I was able to quit and reached the point whereby I have no physical or mental addiction. I think that during an initial stage of quitting each ex smoker wished that we could enjoy a cig until the next time we want to have one but in reality our addiction dictates when we have the next one. Thus I learned the hard way that one puff and it’s back to zero. Mindset and NOPE concept are the two critical components to a successful quit. Also, if your friends care about you they won’t push you into smoking; otherwise, they are just your smoking buddies. As the time goes by, you’ll realize that smoking is like a manipulative boyfriend/girlfriend who zaps your health and sucks your money by making you believe that your life is a lot better with them than without. But in the end you will realize the total lie that it is. Sending good vibes your way and good luck. Cheers.

I really appreciate all of you for taking the time to read my story, and for your encouraging words. Every failed attempt is disheartening, but I try to be proud of myself for continuing to try anyway. Each an every one of you is an inspiration, and I hope that I can be as strong as all of you in my future. Day one was a successful one, and I will keep you all updated as I go!