Quick check in
I'm still here, I haven't abandoned ship LOL.
Evening folks (it is almost midnight here on Friday) It has been a crazy busy week for me & I apologize that this is the first time I have had a chance to pop in. I see there are lots of new stories & can not wait to read them.
An update from me...I am still struggling to fully launch. I have switched to an electronic cigarette with 14 mg of nicotine. It seems high to me, but I absolutely hate the d*** thing so it is in fact cutting down on my intake. Alot actually & that made me think of what someone said about doing it the way that works best for me. As much as I would love to do it cold turkey, I have learned that it does not work for me at this point in time.
So for now the plan is to keep smoking the awful e-cig. I hate the thing so much. It is nothing like a real cigarette. Time for a bit of analyses on that point. If I hate smoking (the way I believe I DO) then why do I hate the electronic so much? Because part of my nicotine addicted brain believes I am depriving myself. The logical part of my brain knows this isn't true, but I keep getting pulled back into the same mental arguments. What to do, what to do?
Oh, one more thing...I have been exhausted this week. I am still getting my usual amount of sleep but find myself falling asleep all through the day. It is quite bothersome. The whole "time distortion" thing with quitting (cutting back for me) already makes the day seem so long, but the exhaustion on top of it makes it so difficult. Has anyone else experienced this? I Never did with other quits so it's unusual for me. Thanks in advanced for all comments. It is the weekend so I will have a bit more time to check in.
Hello Nuts. Funny, that's how I feel when I have the internal conflicts all day. I feel sorry for everyone around me because I am worried that I am an unbearable tyrant. Somedays I just want to step outside of myself & grab my own shoulders to shake some sense in. Good days, I KNOW I can do this. I can actually see myself as a non smoker & it is beautiful. Bad days however are my downfall. And I seem to have more bad days than good days (in regard to smoking). So, as I said I am struggling. And I am tired. So tired of constantly being at war with myself. I hate the addiction & yet I keep on punishing myself! Uggghhhhh!!
" If you can't beat fear, do it scared"
Thank you Nuts, for shaking the sense back in to me. I will spend my weekend being scared/angry/tired & smoke free. Cold turkey. I CAN DO THIS.
On a completely different subject, I am going to cry myself to sleep now LOL.
Hi Darren (is the 76 for the year you were born? I'm just curious)
I read a couple of your stories about the green tea earlier & made myself a mental note to go get some tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes. I need all the help I can get!
Hi Wendy. I have to say that i agree with Nuts, and that an inhaler or anything with that hand to mouth reinforcement is of less help than other Nrts.
Remember that we don't really enjoy smoking, we just don't enjoy not smoking.
You say you hate the fighting with yourself but by cold turkey the worst is over in 72 hours. The fear is gone and acceptance is gradually setting in to make the transition to be a happy non-smoker. Try the green tea suggestion and read the link i posted to Joel Spritz. You really can do this.
Hi Darren (is the 76 for the year you were born? I'm just curious)
I read a couple of your stories about the green tea earlier & made myself a mental note to go get some tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes. I need all the help I can get!
Thanks Happiness & Robn. I am trying. I know, I know...we aren't supposed to "try", we are just supposed to "do" but try is all I have in me sometimes. The way I put perspective on that is I haven't quit trying yet so all hope is not lost.
Keep going. The exhaustion side really hit me for a week last week, couldn’t think properly or anything as totally shattered.
Monday I woke up and since then it’s gone. I am on 10 weeks not smoking.
I use the NRT inhaler, it works for me and stick with whatever works for you. You will get there.