PANIC!
Well day one of cutting down to get ready for my quit day was going really well until about 5.00pm. My kids went off to their dads for the week and left me alone to think about the fact that I hadn't had a cigarette for a whole day!
I am not sure if its the same for anyone else but the thought of NOT having a smoke kind of makes me feel panicked? Even if I do not want one? I started to panic thinking "well what do I do if I do not have a cigarette?
Anyway, I had one, then I had another, then I put the rest in the bin, then I got them out and had another, then I broke them up and put them back in the bin. So for the day I had three. Down from my usual 15 or so. I am not going to beat myself up about caving. I think I did well only having 3.
I had one coffee and then had green tea and water for the rest of the day. I poured my scotch down the sink in front of the kids and they said I was wasting money hahaha They do not understand the significance of what I was doing because they do not know that if I have a drink I will want a cigarette and they do not know I smoke. I have hidden it from everyone.
SO I poured the scotch down the drain and today I am feeling panic again? No cigarettes and no scotch. My quit day is the 8th but I am thinking I may make it today. I have allot of drama going on in my life right now but an tired of using excuses to light up. I have to take responsibility for this and my thinking is if I can get through this with out having a cigarette then I can do anything. So here goes nothing!
Oh gosh, I so know how you feel. You've done so well & yes, the panic is real for everyone. I know what your going through. I was never able to survive without scotch and cigarettes in the house. If they were there I had them, if they weren't I had to buy more & if I couldn't get any I would panic & I actually considered myself not a big drinker or smoker when comparing myself to others. I was gradually getting worse though due to stress & it became a viscous cycle. I tried to hide my smoking from the kids too.
You are headed in the right direction. There's never really a good time, there is usually some kind of drama or something else to stop you from quitting. I've picked the most stressful period of my entire life but it just had to be done. I was getting sick from stress and alcohol & smokes were just making it worse, I had to eliminate all toxicity out of my life.
Don't give in to the stinky things. I promise you will not regret it. Do something nice & something good for yourself for a change, you don't need them. Really you don't. I'm living, breathing proof of that. And that alcohol, you don't need that stuff either. I am now keeping right away from it as of a few nights ago I don't trust myself being around it & others in that toxic atmosphere.
I can happily have a nice glass of red in front of the fire at night on occasion though which I quite enjoy but that's about it. I like the fact that I can happily do that without stressing out. My kids, my health, my sleep & me are much more important & my life is so precious now I'll never go back. You can do it too.
Oh....what does one do if one doesn't smoke you asked. That was one of my questions 6 weeks ago. Well....I guess the answer is anything but smoke. I just religiously stayed on this site - it was open all the time. I walked an hour each morning, I read some fabulous books at night with my camomile tea and slept, slept, slept. I enjoyed the kids, I played with them, I baked with them, I laughed with them, played frizby with them & much more. They probably wondered who I was. I counted my savings, I wrote in my journal, I cleaned, cleaned, cleaned, I did a lot of gardening, sorted, organised, cleaned some more, I cried a lot & punched my pillow, I ate chocolate & lots of coffee (funnily enough) oh & I yelled at myself too...But one thing I didn't do was buy another packet of cigarettes or a bottle of scotch though I contemplated both many times I just resorted to having another chuppa chup instead!
Hey Keloch, don't know if it'll help, but what I found really worked for me was browsing this site using a stylus on a touch screen, same sort of size and feel as a cigarette, just something to hold in your hand and keep it busy. Stay strong.
I hear you Bronte! There does seem to ALWAYS be some kind of drama. One nice, quiet, boring week would be so lovely hahaha
Hmmm chuppa chup! That's a good idea!
You sound like you have come a long way! Good on you!!!
Thanks for the idea Dottily! I will try that. Awesome!
Good luck and I wish you the best. Keep coming on this site and read as much as you can. It helped me heaps.
No worries Keloch, keep it up. I hope I don't rave on too much, I know I write a lot but it helps me keep going too. Not to mention the fact that writing is a passion of mine. When I get going I can't seem to stop! Good luck with it, hope we have helped you.